Project 365 - Day 15

Today Hunter had one of our "mom and dog" days. We sat outside and enjoyed the fantastic sun, I started and completed a book that I has been gathering dust on my stack of books to read. We went for a walk, I did some grocery shopping - it was a perfect day! The sky was so blue - not a cloud in sight!

Project 365 - Day 14

My favorite subject again - Hunter with his favorite, the volleyball!

Project 365 - Day 13

Hello blog followers, husband here. My wife Kimberly finally allowed me to put something on her blog to show that I am a real person and do truly exist. So as I read her daily posts to see what kind of pictures shes posting for this project, I decided I would "guest blog" to give her ever so busy mind a much needed break. So here it is, my first guest post. I decided to take a picture of one of my pride and joy's....my tv :).....wait....our tv, better honey? This fine piece of technology provides both of us some nice quality time alone and together when needed. We have our family time during the weeks while watching some of our favorite shows and playing some xbox 360 when wifey goes to sleep :). Each member of the family gets their own personal couch/recliner. Sometimes I am in the recliner, sometimes the small couch, sometimes the big couch, whichever spot is available after Hunter and Kimberly take their seats. During a typical week, we get to watch some shows together on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays but Thursdays are mostly her shows and I am banished to playing on the computer or with the dog until Grey's is over. And about every two weeks or so we pick a movie from ONDEMAND and watch together. So its the simpler things in life that we enjoy doing the most. We both work long days and enjoy nothing more than hanging out together and enjoying some fine HD television. Oh and since I work for Best Buy, if you dont have a nice HD tv and some HD programming with DVR capabilities....your completely missing out. But wait no more, ever in the Savannah area, come see me in the Home Theater department at Best Buy and I can take care of that !! My time has run out for my first and probably last guest post, but if I do get a chance to post again it most likely wont be until day 364 .....til then blog followers.....take care.

Project 365 - Day 12

The view from my desk...staring at the bright sun. Don't let it fool you though, it is freezing outside! Spring days I long for going outside and just sitting on the porch. Maybe we can move my desk out there this year....

Just a Day

It is still early in the day, but already it is a day with thoughts and wonders. I guess it started when I was at a red light and I started realizing I am less than 8 weeks away from being 30 weeks. That measurement of pregnancy is something that is hard to grasp. Obviously I have not experienced pregnancy beyond 30 weeks. My destiny was to skip the remaining 7-10 weeks and go straight to the birthing process. Ddelivering with this pregnancy will be a breeze (been there, done that) and I am not worried about anything. In my head I am having a fast easy delivery like Hudson's was physically. No plans for drugs, but I know that if I need them they will be there for me.

Sometimes it is like this pregnancy is similar to a stepladder. I needed to get to 8-12 weeks before telling anyone, I needed to get to 18 weeks for the anatomy scan, I needed to then make it to 20 weeks where it would no longer be considered a miscarriage, now I need to get to 24 weeks where if something happens the doctors will consider her viable and work hard to safe her life, then it will be 30 weeks (which will probably be the hardest), and so on. I have come to terms that it is okay that I cannot fully enjoy being pregnant. I hear the gasps. I do enjoy being pregnant, but in a different way. I enjoy what is actually happening in my body and having a little girl growing strong inside of me (and from her kicks and punches she is going to be a very strong little girl). I don't enjoy the part of pregnancy that most women enjoy. I don't like thinking of the future. If I don't plan then I can't be let down, right?

Picking out nursery fabric, furniture, names, paints....all of those things that expectant mothers enjoy while their body is transforming. Those things keep them occupied while they are having those not so pleasant pregnancy symptoms. For me they symbolize what I will have to do if something should happen again. They stress me out to where I cannot focus on anything - hence the start of project 365 to make my mind focus somewhere else. I brought back tons of clothes and baby items from my trip last weekend and you know what crossed my mind? What am I going to do with all of these things if I don't need them? Will everyone take their things back because I certainly will not want the items in my house. Picking out fabric - purchasing something for our daughter was a big step. I am still stalling on furniture, partly because I want to see what color will best suit the fabric we have picked out, but also because I am dreading asking the sales associate a particular question - you know, what happens in the event I do not need the furniture after all.

Having a baby shower absolutely scares me to death. I have a friend that is throwing one for me, but I needed to have it after 30 weeks and pretty much at the latest moment in time possible. I know that if I gave into my fears and did not have one I would feel like I missed out on such a special event and look back with regrets. I guess it leaves a horrible taste in your mouth when you had a shower planned and then instead you are attending your child's funeral that same weekend.

We have trips and vacations planned for after BG (still no no name...) arrives and those trips will be so hard to go on knowing that arrangements were made for her to be with us or a babysitter (the grandparents). We have a family trip, 2 class reunions, a trip with friends....

There is part of me that knows everything is going to be just fine - we are going to have this little girl and then join the rest of the non-sleeping, complaining parents out there. Then there is another part saying, "It happened before, it can happen again." I know I should be thinking positive and I am - trust me I have been in such a better place and I am doing very well. I just need to step back and take things slowly, one step at a time. It is the only way I am not going to have a nervous breakdown in the next 15-18 weeks.

Project 365 - Day 11

It's that time - hard to believe, but it's time for my high school 10 year reunion. Crazy - right? The past few months I have been working with several others from my class to plan our 1st reunion. In October we had a fundraiser to help eliminate costs to everyone and it was a great success! The save the date magnets came in yesterday and I could not wait to rip into the package to see how they looked. We ordered them from vistaprint.com - which is such an inexpensive place! The magnets are perfect and they should be mailed out within the next week. It has been such a fun time with planning and it's going to be wonderful to see everyone from back in the day! So, if you went to RHHS and graduated in 2000 get ready for your magnet to arrive and even more ready to have fun!!

Project 365 - Day 10

Growing up I took piano lessons - so did my brother and sister. I think we all had a problem at some point or another because we all had a wonderful ear for music and hated to read music. We would much rather our teacher play the song first and then figure out how to play it instead of reading the notes. It was so much easier! Christmas 2008 I made the family sit in my parent's living room and sing Christmas carols. I grew up in a house with two pianos. When John and I moved into our house we were looking for the perfect piece to go in our large foyer. My mom offered my great-grandfather's piano. It is such a perfect fit! I have been trying to find some music to order so that I can start playing again. Maybe our little girl will enjoy taking lessons when she gets older :)

365 - Day 9

If there is one thing you probably figured out about me you must know that I love my dog. John and I adopted Hunter from an animal shelter (the absolute BEST way to bring an animal into your home) in July of 2002. He has been spoiled ever since! Hunter was a little 12 week old puppy that had been found with his little of litter of brothers and sisters in a dumpster. Sometimes we lovingly refer to him as our "dumpster dog". Hunter is the most loyal dog and he absolutely has made his way into the hearts of everyone in my family - and those close friends. Well, everyone except my brother's dog and my grandmother....no idea why.

Hunter will greets us with so much excitement each day when John and I come home. He was super excited to see me when I got home after being gone all weekend - he cried when I was packing. Hunter is definitely my favorite thing/person/dog to photograph....so you will be seeing many pictures of him on Project 365!

The Weekend

This weekend was fast paced and I was constantly on the go. Do you ever have weekends where you need a day afterwards to rest? That's exactly how I felt. The weekend was complied of visiting with family, Freddie's baby shower, going to see Katie, and shopping for nursery bedding and furniture. We started off Friday around 11:30 and headed towards Atlanta. We stopped for lunch and of course a few potty breaks for yours truly. One of the stops I was approached by an older man that asked if I knew what I was having and then if he "could have it". I laughed and said no - I really wanted to run away at that moment, but I was waiting on my mom.

We got into Atlanta and stopped at Ikea - found a couple of things, but nothing too fantastic. Next we headed north to my brother's and arrived about an hour later. We had baked spaghetti and enjoyed the delicious cake my niece baked for us.

Saturday morning we woke up to go to a couple of fabric stores and I gathered some swatches of patterns with colors I liked. We took the swatches back to Tres and Tina's and then I headed to Freddie's baby shower. It was a great time! Heike, Freddie's mom , is from Germany (as is Freddie - she moved to GA when she was in middle school; which is when we met) and she had never been to a baby shower before. It was so much fun to watch Heike as all the new and fun baby stuff was unwrapped. A very special present was given to Freddie by her mom - Freddie's baby blanket that was brought all the way from Germany. How sweet! I had not seen Freddie since her wedding, so it was great to be able to catch up in person. Freddie and I are about 6-7 weeks apart; she is due in the middle of May with her little girl!

After the shower my mom and I headed out shopping again - this time looking for furniture. I have decided that this baby will just not have a name or any furniture - I cannot decide on a thing. I think I am stressing myself out too much. The fact of picking out furniture at all gives me an anxiety attack almost. I have nightmares of swatches of fabric and cribs. I did decide that I would see what the end result of the bedding looked like and I would go from there in picking out the crib/furniture. Black or white - those are the choices to match the bedding.

Dinner that night included my cousin Julie and her family coming over. We had BBQ chicken - and it was fantastic. Everyone played the "what patterns/swatches would you put together for the nursery game". I took pictures of the different pattern arrangements so that I would remember them. The night I sat at the table with Tina and had all the swatches scattered around and made my choices - done! The bedding is picked - the colors and final design will be a surprise!!

Sunday morning I woke up early to go and visit my friend Katie, who just had her little girl Francis Kay a couple of weeks ago. I had not seen Katie since her baby shower back in early November. It was great to see her, Matt and little Francis - even if it was only for a couple hours. They should be coming here in May and I probably won't be seeing her until then. We usually get to talk everyday - or at least we did when she was at work, but now she is on maternity leave and probably by the time she goes back to work I will then go on maternity leave.

I left Katie's house and then headed back to my brother's house. Mom and I packed up the car (filled with extra goodies from the Kirkland clan!) - stopped by Julie's house, went to the fabric store to purchase the fabric (yay - one thing off the list!), went to JoAnn's Fabric store to have mom's sewing machine (surger) looked at, called to see if Freddie was home, and then we were off towards home again. On the way home mom was trying to suggest names for our nameless little one - and then she mentioned the name Ruth. When I was a child I named my baby doll Ruth. I told my mom that I needed to get her from their house and put her (Ruth) in the nursery. Then my mom casually mentions "she needs a new arm". WHAT?!? Why on earth would my doll need a new arm? Apparently - "it just fell off". I do not believe it - I think my mother pulled Ruth's arm off. Poor defenseless one-armed doll...

We got home late so my mom just stayed the night (we live 22 miles from each other) - we didn't feel like unloading the car. It was packed with bags of Olivia's clothes, a car seat, stroller, and various other items from Tres and Tina for us to use.

John is busy this morning unloading the car - with one arm. Apparently while I was gone he went over to a friend's house and they watched some ultimate fighting thing and were inspired to do their own wrestling....then someone fell on John's arm. Boys...

Project 365 - Day 8

This is a picture of bags of clothes that my mom and I took home from my brother's house. Don't you just love hand-me-downs? We have always had a hand-me-down system. When I was younger my cousin Julie would send me her clothes. It was like Christmas! I would see the brown paper bags full of clothes and anxiously wait to see what delightful treasures were in them. I would wonder and hope that Julie had outgrown a favorite outfit that would be passed to me. When I was finished with the clothes I would in turn send them to Julie's younger sister Jennifer. Clothes can be so expensive - especially when you are a child and you are growing every week! Our little girl is going to have a closet FULL of clothes and I am hardly going to need to buy a thing!

365 - Day 7

Dining Room Tables - in the south they seem to be the centerpiece of all family and friend gatherings. When the meals are finished and the dished are cleared we still sit and gather at the table to continue the conversations. Kitchens and tables - I guess that is one of the reasons the south has food as a staple for any social gathering. Well, food and sweet tea of course. Tonight my cousins came over to my brother's house for dinner and we ate at the very table pictured below in Tres and Tina's dining room. A great place for visiting with family, warm conversations, and hearty full bellied laughs.

365 - Day 6

This morning I after my shower I received a text from my sister-in-law, Tina. The text was asking when we (my mother and I) would be leaving to come to their house and she also let us know that she and Olivia had baked us a chocolate cake the night before. Oh cake - it was all I could think about the whole trip up. As you know I have to limit my intake of sweets so I when I have something sweet it is usually during a special occasion. When we finally arrived (after a short shopping trip to Ikea) we hurried through our dinner and then moved on to feast upon the delicious cake. It was all I dreamed of and more...chocolate cake with cream cheese icing topped with pink and red heart shaped sprinkles. My little niece is becoming some what of a little baker. Tina said that when they first began to bake together Olivia would smash the egg and then Tina would have to pick out the egg shells. Now Olivia will meticulously tap the egg in order to crack it without the shells going in the product. Below is the cake (after we sliced it) that Olivia was so proud to show us when we arrived!

365 - Day 5

This creamer is part of a china set that belonged to my Great-Aunt Juanita, or as we so lovingly referred to her as Aunt Pete. My great-grandfather had all girls and gave each of them boy nicknames. Aunt Pete is buried right above Hudson and next to where my grandfather is, where my grandmother will be buried, and where my parents have chosen to lay. My grandmother was given all of my aunt's belongings after she suddenly died (years ago - I think I was in middle school or just starting high school) during a routine gall bladder surgery. The death of my aunt greatly affected my grandmother for they were extremely close. Shortly after I became engaged my grandmother asked if I wanted to have my great-aunt's china. Of course I did! I had not even seen it, but I love the fact of having something that belonged to a member of our family. I enjoy things that are passed from generation to generation. So no, the gold trimmed magnolia does not match my platinum trimmed white china, but I love having it all the same! We were finally able to use it during Thanksgiving when we hosted the holiday in our new house.

365 - Day 4

Heat - something we need in the winter, right? Today's picture is my ONLY source of heat on those (these - current) blistery cold days. Where I work we do not have central heating...only space heaters. I hog this one to myself. Down in the south we usually only have about 2-3 months of cold, but it seems like the cold is lasting a lot longer than usual. Of course we complain now because we are tired of it, but in July and August we will be longing for the days of wind and jackets because we will want to run naked through the sprinklers it is so hot. Those days remind me of the summer my parents and I spent in Europe and as you might know they do not have central air there. The weather is usually so nice in the summer there is no need. All you have to do is open a window. That would have been great, except the summer we were there is when they had record high heat. In an effort to stay cool I sat in a cold bathtub full of water - it didn't last very long or help much.

365 - Day 3

I am sort of a hoarder. Not like on the A&E TV show, but I save EVERYTHING. I am trying my hardest to throw things out. Some days it is easy, but most days it's not. I have 2 boxes in our garage of just junk. Literally - I could throw those boxes out and not miss a single thing in them. I don't know why it's so hard. I have given myself until June 1st to get rid of all of the unnecessary items in my life. I have longed to be on of those people who could just pack a suitcase and move without any other belongings to worry about - alas, that is not me. I have scrapbooks, pictures, special mementos....so much stuff I have personified. Today's picture is an example of how I do not throw things away. It's my favorite pair of tennis shoes. Literally - I LOVE them. I have had them since about 2003 and I wear them at least 4 times a week. John hates them and tells me how scruffy they look all the time, but me I just want to wear them constantly. They should have fallen apart by now and I have no idea why they are still wearable. I told John that even if we were to win the lottery I would never throw these shoes out.

365 - Day 2

This is what I stare at all day long...my desk faces a wall. It's like I am being out casted from everyone else. No, not really, but I do face a wall, and sometimes I sit and stare at the wall just to sit and stare. For no reason. Sometimes I am not even thinking when I sit and stare - just a blank mind sitting and staring. During the summer I sit and watch spiders crawl around on the wall. There can be some really huge ones and I really don't want to kill them...then of course all the babies start running around I and I get yelled at.

Usually my desk is piled with all sorts of paper - because my boss (my loving brother-in-law) likes to pile all the paperwork there :)

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Happy Valentine's Day to my amazing husband, life partner, and soul mate!!

2001

**2002 to come**

2003

2004

2005

2006

2007

2008

2009

2010

Project 365 - Day 1

It's Sunday and it's my day to hang out with Hunter all day long! Mostly we do our own thing, but we also get in a good game of fetch with his flat volleyball. Hunter naps around the house, looks out of the front window, and one other very important thing. He loves to have the patio door open all day. Whether Hunter stays out there or not it must be open. Sometimes he'll sit out on the patio and sometimes he likes to sit inside close to the entrance. Regardless of where he sits I love to take pictures of him. Below is a picture of him on the patio.

Project 365

I have decided to participate in Project 365. This will help me to learn more uses of my camera and to better myself as a "wannabe" photographer. It will also take you more in depth into my life, daily activities, and thoughts of mundane events. In the end it means more blogging from yours truly :) Hopefully by the time our little girl is here I will be an expert and be able to take the most beautiful pictures to show off our gorgeous little one.

SNOW!!

It snowed in Savannah! What a wonderful treat!! All day long I kept hearing about everyone getting inches and inches of snow. I was upset that it was going to miss us....but at night the temperature dropped and we got snow! It has not snowed here in Savannah since 1989! I will have to find those old pictures of that miraculous Christmas :)

Hunter with his very first snowflakes!

Hunter LOVED watching the snow - he sat at the window for hours.

Ideas

I am looking for ideas - for ways to incorporate Hudson into his little sister's and future sibling's lives. I don't want these children to feel like they are living in the shadow of Hudson or that we have put him on this unreachable pedestal, but I want them to know about him. Kids sometimes can't understand knowing about someone that they never knew. Would it be the same type of situation where grandparents have died before the children are born yet you still tell them their story? I just don't know. The only thing I do know is I want our future children to know they have another brother. I don't want it to be an unspoken forbidden secret. I don't want them to find out when they are adults. I want Hudson to be part of them growing up. So feel free to comment with suggestions of things you are doing, planning on doing, or even just ideas!

Thanks!! :)

20 Weeks Update

A blog that I read does this in her updates, so I thought I would "steal" the idea for mine.

How far along? 20 weeks

Total Weight Gain? 9lbs

Maternity Clothes? Mostly - I am still in my Bella Band, but about once a week I wear some form of maternity pants. Shirts are mostly maternity because they are long enough to cover the belly :)

Sleep? Sometimes! I wake up about 3-4 times a night to use the restroom. I have the craziest dreams that I would rather not talk about because they are too strange and sometimes outright embarrassing to even discuss. Just thinking of them makes me blush.

Best Moment this Month? Having a package arrive in the mail from my friend Aly with her hospital style doppler!! I saw that package on the stoop and opened it like a kid opening presents on Christmas day! That and all of the movement from our little girl.

Movement? Yes! Keep on moving little girl! It helps momma's anxiety :)

Labor Signs/Body Changes? Nothing with labor; body changes - what's not changing??

Belly Button In/Out? In - thank goodness! I will put tape over it again if it pokes out.

What I Miss? Currently my Triscuits that someone at work ate....don't they know not to take food from a pregnant woman?? They will! I also miss the filter for sarcasm.

What I am Looking Forward To: Having this baby!

We had our 20 week check-up today with Judy and all is well in Henninger babyland! Heartbeat was in the 150's, blood pressure was great, all the other things were great...so far so good! We go back in 4 weeks for our 24 week check-up and the dun dun dun....GD test...oh joy. I just love drinking that flat soda and sitting there for an hour waiting.

Hugh's 10th Birthday Party!

Hard to believe, but my nephew Hugh just turned 10 years old! His birthday was on the 9th, but his party was held the Friday before on the 5th. The celebration was at Frames and Games (you may remember when we went there with our small group for bowling). The boys (and Emily) bowled, played laser tag, and went to the arcade. We all enjoyed pizza and a homemade "van" cake.

Emily getting ready to bowl

Georgia apparently was tired of bowling

Hugh blowing out all those candles!

Hugh's friends and Emily

Vicki & I

What To Do

I have been going back and forth in what to do about the experience with Ashley. The whole part with her not even listening to me and calling it a "communication error" I can sort of look the other way at this point. Actually no, she didn't listen to a word I said, and by her calling it an error in communication is wrong. I looked this girl up - she is newly into the genetics counseling role. I personally think she knows what the books and statistics say, but she has not learned the human aspect of the job. What really bothers me is the fact that she had a student observing her - not the fact that there was a student in the room - but the fact a student was observing her. Wouldn't a student learn from someone with more experience?

Well, after the whole "communication error" there was the "oh, lets forget to tell Kimberly what to do and not do before a procedure". That I cannot look away from. That is textbook. The other little tidbit of information I have not blogged about it something that happened in the doctor's office - the day of the ultrasound. It was after all measurements had been taken and all anatomy had been looked at - it was crunch time, the final decision time. I remember asking the doctor what the correlation of my child having an abnormality was with the thickness and time of the measurement. She asked, "oh, didn't Ashley give you that information?" I said, "no." What happened next confirmed my suspensions of Ashley and her job. The look the doctor and the nurse gave each other - it was one of those "once again she didn't do her job right" looks. Once again Ashley failed me - I was not given information to help aide in my decision. The doctor went through the paperwork and did not find the information anywhere. She then asked if that information would help me in my decision that day. Well, of course it would, but I knew my decision was pretty much already made. Besides I thought I remembered reading somewhere that my chances were like 3% or something like that. Maybe I should be paying google for all of my medical information.

So, the point is I don't know what to do. What she is doing is not right. I am assuming that because she was the way she was with me - in each encounter - that she is this way with others as well. I want to file a complaint. I always talk about complaints I need to file, but I never do it. When I start to think of what could happen - and then I think about some ridiculous Lifetime movie. You know, the one where the woman calls the "are you a good driver hotline" to complain about the guy cutting her off; he gets fired; then he stalks her...etc, etc...

I may write this letter and sit on it for a little while...

Bedding

So, if you remember John and I lived with my parents while we were looking for a house - we were pregnant with Hudson during that time. We did not pick out anything for a nursery and we were going to use the crib my parents had and things like that. Once we got into our house we would then pick out all of his nursery items. It was a little sad and I do remember having one breakdown about not being able to pick out things for a nursery, but it was fine. It turned out to be that we would not have needed anything after all....

Now we are looking for things for a nursery and it is overwhelming. First of all I am taking a big leap of faith in even thinking about what to put in the nursery. It is a scary thought that I would have my complete nursery picture perfect to a tea for this little girl and then something were to happen like with Hudson. So the very fact that I am even looking for bedding is a huge deal. It is all my faith in God and knowing that He has His hands on my child that I can even continue on my journey to find the perfect decor. Next I will remind or inform some of you that I am semi-OCD, I have huge ideas, and I am a libra - a.k.a I cannot make decisions.

Saturday my mom and I went to a few baby stores locally - I say a few because we have about 3-4. I found the perfect bedding and furniture. The only issue was to convince John the next day when we took him to see it that he would love it. Sunday after church and lunch we headed to Punch and Judy where the "perfect" set of things were found. Yeah, we got there and I wasn't in love so much anymore. So, we headed off to one of the two fabric stores in town. Savannah can really stink when it comes to shopping sometimes. We picked out some designs - at one point I was sitting on the dirty floor with bolts of fabric surrounding me. My mom checked the measurements she needed and then decided that she would come pick it up tomorrow once she had the measurements from her patterns.

Sunday night John and I were driving home (we had stopped at our friends' house) and I mentioned that I was not sure if I was in love with that fabric either. I thought John wanted to hit something - not literally, but I could see the look of "we just did all of that for nothing" in his eyes. I see the look a lot when I change my mind - about everything. Then I told him, well maybe it was just the one design in the mix. I thought about the fabric choice all night.

Monday comes along and my mom comes up to work. She looks like she wants to cry and she doesn't want to tell me something. She had some fabric in a bag and was telling me about a blanket she was going to make. Next she told me that she didn't buy the fabric - she didn't think I was in love with it. I breathed a sign of relief and told her I wasn't and I had been fretting about it all night and day. She was relieved. I told her my plan that we could go to Atlanta on a specific date because I had a shower to go that weekend as well and we could go shop. She had the same plan!

SOOOO - we still do not have bedding, furniture - anything.....and that is ok with me.