Thursday, February 11, 2010


I am looking for ideas - for ways to incorporate Hudson into his little sister's and future sibling's lives. I don't want these children to feel like they are living in the shadow of Hudson or that we have put him on this unreachable pedestal, but I want them to know about him. Kids sometimes can't understand knowing about someone that they never knew. Would it be the same type of situation where grandparents have died before the children are born yet you still tell them their story? I just don't know. The only thing I do know is I want our future children to know they have another brother. I don't want it to be an unspoken forbidden secret. I don't want them to find out when they are adults. I want Hudson to be part of them growing up. So feel free to comment with suggestions of things you are doing, planning on doing, or even just ideas!

Thanks!! :)


Maggie said...

My Aunt Kathy died of water on the brain when she was two, right before my Aunt Debi was born.

Though my Grandparents are open and do discuss it with us, it is a very sad topic. She died in my PaPaw arms while they were at the hospital. They didn't discuss Kathy in depth until we were older. I don't believe my younger cousins know yet.

I plan on telling our children about Mary Esther when they are older... I pray she will try to find me... and understand how much I truly love her.

Maybe you can have them decorate Birthday cards for Hudson? That way they know him, celebrate him, and show him they love him too.

Franchesca Cox said...

The same thought passes my mind all the time as my due date approaches. I have decided with my husband that we will start talking about big sister early on. And in holidays, even the little ones like Valentines and the 4th of July just do things that incorporate them. I plan on telling baby Alex when he can understand all the things that remind me of his big sister, so he can one day associate those things with the sister he never knew. Also I plan on taking him with us to visit her grave side and sharing her pictures with him, even in his nursery.

For Valentine's day I am making an altered book and each year I will write in it 'love letters' to her. I plan on letting baby brother join in, even if it's just a drawing.

I don't know these are small things, but I think it can be done. It is amazing that you want to share big brother with your little one on the way. Hoping you find the things that make your heart happy

Kathryn @ Expectant Hearts said...

Kimberly, I know it's different because my kids are older than the sibling we lost but we talk about "Baby Seth" often. Kayleigh was 2-2 1/2 and she talks about "our baby" who is "at Heaven". I think just talking about Hudson in your daily life..

Also, something I did for my "big boys" (before Kayleigh was born), I made "Who Am I?" albums. Who Am I? You are Cary Donald -- Child of God. (picture of him), next page: Son of Kathryn & Leland -- (pictures of us and us with him), Brother to Sean (picture of Sean and sean & Cary) etc. Cary's includes "Namesake of " with pictures of my uncle & grandfather who died before Cary was born and whom he's named after. You could totally do something like that!

Paige said...

When Callyn had her first pictures made we put her in a basket with TAtum's crib blanket- we took pictures in her "my big sister is an angel in heaven" t-shirt and framed it in her room. I don't think that we are going to do anything over the top- but we alreay that God every night in our prayers for our "big sister in heaven" and we talk about her every day in casual conversation. someday she will be old enough to share pics..etc., if you think of anything please do post-

Danielle said...

We will do a birthday cake and celebrate Wyatt's birthday in heaven each year on his birthday.

We will also continue to talk about Wyatt as we always have and will answer Seth's questions he may have about who Wyatt was.

Other than that, I have no idea. I look forward to reading other people's ideas :)

Sara said...

This is a hard one. Like you said, you don't want this baby living in the shadow of big brother.

We talk about Samuel a lot to his baby sister! We also have a few pictures of him out - we don't want him to be a mystery as Payton grows up.

Every year on Samuel's birthday we go out to lunch and then to his graveside. This past year we took Payton so she could join in the "celebration".

Whatever you choose to do will be the right thing for your family! Just keep Hudson's memory alive!

Holly said...

We have Carleigh's pictures sitting out and we visit the cemetery together. It makes me happy that Kyndra recognizes her sister. She'll say 'sissy' or her name. This year we are having a big celebration for Carleigh's first birthday but for future year we will celebrate her birthday as a family. Perhaps we will make a cake or cards. We'll have our angel tree up at Christmas.

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