Wednesday, June 30, 2010


I have mentioned how John and I love to compare how much Heidi favors her older brother Hudson. I thought I would post a picture side by side for you to see for yourself. I am so blessed to have two beautiful babies. There is no denying they are brother and sister and there is certainly no denying that John is the father :) Such sweet babies...

Project 365 - Day 137

It's so hard being a baby...

2 weeks old!

Heidi - you are two weeks old today! What a two weeks it has been! Your dad and I have been trying hard to learn all of your cues to what you need and we are learning all the things that babies really need. You have been our first of so many things already - and will be the first of so many things to come! We have loved every minute of you being here and we cannot help but stare at you while you sleep. We love to laugh at all of your funny little faces you make while sleeping or just looking around.

The past few days I have been puked on, spit up on, peed on, and pooped on - and loving every minute of it. That is something no one probably thought I would ever say. I can sit here and do all of that without gagging - I never thought that would be possible. We love to kiss on your chubby little cheeks and sometimes your daddy likes to pinch them. You love to eat and your weight gain proves that. You have gained a pound in 8 days! They called you a "little chunk" at the doctor's office! I don't think you are a chunk at all!!

Currently your favorite place to sleep is on mommy or daddy's chest. You instantly awake when we put you in your bassinet. Of course we let you sleep on our chests, but we still try to get you to sleep in your temporary bed. Your dad is an expert at changing your diapers, but I am still having a hard time learning how to get them just right; hence the reason I have been peed and pooped on.

Today was your first photo shoot and you did such a great job! You are going to be such a wonderful model, you already are! Everyone says you look just like your daddy and I am crossing my fingers that your eyes will stay blue and your hair will continue to become wavy (like mine). I love that you were born with such a full head of hair! I knew you would be. Even though I straighten my hair often I love having the option to go curly, so I hope that you will be able to have the same option.

You do not like to be swaddled. You love to have your hands and feet out in the open so you can kick them and grab things in the air. I think you are "hot natured" because you always kick the covers off when we put them over your feet. When you startle you throw your hands up in the air and then slowly bring them down. Sometimes you will throw one hand in front of your face and turn your head sideways with your nose pointed in the air in a "talk to the hand" type of body language.

I am so happy that nursing has worked out - you love to nurse! You get so excited when its time and you make this little grunting sound as your eyes get so big. One night (during the first couple of nights at home) I was nursing you in the middle of the night and I guess after you finished I fell asleep. When I woke up you were nursing - through my tank top. I could not believe that!

Sometimes I want to bottle up these moments in time and save them for when you get older and there is no more cuddle time. We have had such a wonderful first 2 weeks and we cannot wait to see what is in store for the rest of our lives with you!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Friday, June 25, 2010

Heidi's Here - Part 2

So, we got through the birth part of the story...they finally finished with Heidi and she was back in my arms where she belonged. I don't think we stopped staring at her the rest of the day. We were then taken to our new room - which was fantastic because we were in a big room and not one of the small "dorm" rooms. The drugs started to wear off and the itching began - oh I hate the itching! We instantly began trying to read all of Heidi's signs - eating, diapers, etc. John changed her first diaper and then later we heard the loudest little tooting sound and we could not stop laughing. John is already a pro at changing her diapers.

It was strange being in the hospital. You know how smells bring back memories? I had to go about the labor and delivery after care just like I did with Hudson. The same products were used, etc. So instantly those smells took me back 17 months. Talk about a mix of emotions. I just gave birth to my daughter and now I have the same smells to associate with her birth. Crazy how now a smell with make me happy and sad for two different reasons.

We stayed in the hospital a total of 3 nights - we were so ready to get home! There is no way to recover in a hospital with people coming in left and right and poking and prodding you everywhere. By the way - child birth is one of the most humiliating things by the way that everyone is inspecting you and checking you out. It really gets uncomfortable. Really. Friday came and we knew it was time for us to go home! YAY! As soon as our new nurse came in our first question was, "how long until we cane leave?" The nurse said she only had to fill out the paperwork and then we could leave within the next hour. It was about 2 hours later and we were released! I rode in the little wheelchair - with Heidi in my arms. Ahh...what a moment. John had already loaded the car up and then he went ahead and grabbed the car. I sat in the little tunnel area in the wheelchair silently sobbing because this moment was so intense - my arms were full and I was bringing one of our babies home. So surreal. Sometimes I still cannot even believe that we have a baby in our house and she's staying.

Heidi already loves her hands and she has so much personality with them. She will throw one in the air and turn her face so fast! She makes the cutest little faces and noises when she's about to nurse. When she's sleeping she makes little puppy dog sounds and we love every second we have spent with her. Sometimes we sit and just stare at her and there are moments when she looks so much like Hudson it is crazy. These few weeks will be the only times we will be able to compare her looks to Hudson, but as she grows I think we will be able to see Hudson live on through her by seeing how he might have grown to look.

Last night Heidi was sleeping on me - one of my favorite things to do - and I was sitting there just memorizing every bit of her. She was only wearing a diaper at the time, but it made me sad that slowly memories of holding Hudson and memorizing his little body were disappearing. All that will soon be left are the pictures and fuzzy recollections of things. It is such a hard balancing act of honoring Hudson and his memory while being so excited to celebrate Heidi being here and enjoying her life. There is no way to even compare how the both of them have had an impact on my life; each of them in their own special way. I used to wonder how I would be able to raise Heidi (before we were pregnant with her and while I was pregnant with her) without making her feel inferior to Hudson. I now know that I would never be able to make her feel that way. She has already brought so much joy and life into our little family and it is an indescribable feeling.

Project 365 - Day 132

Hunter needed a bath! I am sure the cool water felt great on his itchy and hot skin. He has an appointment for the groomers on Tuesday, but we couldn't wait. So, preliminary bath today!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Monday, June 21, 2010

Project 365 - Day 128

Today I was feeding Heidi after both of us had taken naps. Hunter was sitting on the foot of the bed just staring at us. Until this moment he really could have cared less if Heidi was around or not. She really has not taken away us giving him attention. Then after staring for awhile he decided to join in the feeding party. He's just too cute with his little sister :)

Sunday, June 20, 2010


Heidi has only been here for 4 days and I am already a changed person. Here is a small list of what has changed so far:

- I am asking for help! I asked my sister and mom to come and help me set up the nursery and help with baby things around the house. They have been fantastic and I couldn't ask for a better mom or sister. They have truly been such a blessing in my life. If you recall I had still not set up a nursery (the furniture arrived the same day as Heidi!) and I still had not cut tags or opened items. So as you can imagine there was a lot to do! My mom has been staying at the house the past couple of nights which is fantastic. I love having her here to help. She has so much experience that she is my new library :) I know she loves being around Heidi too, so that is a plus!

- I am asking for advice and asking questions about what is what. From breastfeeding to is all so foreign to me. Luckily I have so many great resources (family & friends) that are there when I need them! From late night texts saying I stink at parenthood to calls about screaming babies - they are there for me! If you recall an earlier post about how I was frustrated about advice and all of that...amazing how now it really all helps me to hear it! I think it was more that I hated hearing the advice because Heidi was not here yet and I didn't want to listen to advice I possibly might not need.

- I am relaxed. Well, sort of, my body is sore from being so tense about whether or not she is breathing, eating. sleeping, etc. Hmm...I guess also sore from giving birth in general! I am relaxed though, she's here - I can breath. No more worry that my body isn't going to work right or that something will happen that I can't see in time to fix. I know there are still so many things that can happen to a child outside the womb, but having her here really helps me.

- I care about poop and I change dirty diapers. That's right me and poop. I had never changed a diaper until Heidi came along. John had not either - we're getting better! She was pooping up a storm at the hospital and then stopped when we got home. She has had more wet diapers here which was a change. Friday was the last time she pooped until tonight! BG pooped twice! It was wonderful! I have been so worried (tensing my body) since Friday about her not pooping. My milk has come in (oh engorgement how I did not miss you) and I guess its a change that takes place and it is all perfectly normal. She had a small poopie one this early evening and then a nice smelly one tonight. My mom took a whiff and said, "oh it smells". I could not smell it! Its true about your own child's poop! Which is a relief because I have quite possibly the weakest stomach ever. So, John and I changed her diaper and then she started peeing! We could not stop laughing.

Amazing how one little 8 pound girl can already have such an effect on me. I can't believe that its me not worrying and being upset about things not done. I guess I should not be too surprised though because look how much a 3 pound boy changed me last year....

Project 365 - Day 127

Flowers for BG!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Project 365 - Day 126

Hunter decided that since he must share his room with Heidi she must share her hospital blanket with him. He has been so tired since we got home...

Friday, June 18, 2010

Project 365 - Day 125

Bringing Heidi home!!

Heidi Jewell is Here!

Did you feel that? Did you feel the strong gust of wind blowing? I know I did and I was a part of it. The strength of that wind was fueled as family and friends (and strangers!) exhaled a much needed breath of relief when our precious Heidi Jewell was born. I cannot even put into words how I feel at this very moment. I know it is such a cliche to say all that, but I will do my best to put this whole emotional beautiful experience into words.

It is all so surreal. From the moment we found out about Hudson I never thought I would experience the joy of having a living breathing child. From that moment I didn't think I would have the chance. It hurt too much to even think about having other children and not having Hudson. With God's timing - not ours at all - we found out we would be expecting our 2nd little precious one. I was filled with every emotion possible. Fear, anxiety, worry, anger, but most of all joy. I didn't know how this journey was going to go. I was a basket case some days while others were "normal". I wanted this more than anything. I wanted to hold my living, breathing, healthy child in my arms. I wanted to watch he or she grow and have their own children. I didn't want to be hurt again.

Next we found out we were having a little girl. What woman does not have dreams of having a sweet daughter? One to share secrets with and share the bond of womanhood. I can also say having a little girl made it easier in separating this pregnancy from Hudson. It helped not having to look for boy names or boy clothes. I enjoyed looking at all things pink and dreaming of my little ballerina. I don't know how I got through it all - well, I do, but I guess I am more amazed through it all. I had 4 anxiety attacks while anxiously waiting for our sweet little girl. My little family had more prayer than any other family I know. We are blessed beyond measure in the support we have - near and far; close and acquaintances. You would think I would be angry at God for letting one live and one die. In know way has that thought ever crossed my mind. Yes, I do still wonder "why Hudson", "why me", but I have learned so much that God is faithful to His promises. I know now that I had priorities to get in order, miracles I needed to appreciate, and lives that needed to see faithfulness in God for their own eternal future.

While being pregnant with Heidi was not uneventful it was easy. She always did and knew what she was supposed to do. I was tested by the devil with worry of whether she would even be with us. Each day that passed was one more day closer to her arrival. I knew that however our story went it would have some sort of ending or continuance. Everyday Heidi grew stronger and so did the prayer. I know everyone talks about the power of prayer, but feeling it for the length of time we did (as we still are is) was amazing. Prayer for our daughter turned into more than just prayers for her - the prayers helped others start relationships with God, strengthen relationships that were taken for granted, and to strengthen relationships with God. The big miracle is that when praying for one thing you never know the domino effect prayer will have. Just as there was a huge domino effect from the prayers during the hard months with Hudson there was/is a huge domino effect from Heidi as well. I feel so proud to have both Hudson and Heidi already, in their short little lives, to have made huge impacts on the lives of others.

From the moment we found out we were going to be induced it was emotional. On the 15th of January we found out we were being induced with Hudson - Heidi was the 15th of June. Both Heidi and Hudson were born on the 16th of their birth months. I was wearing a black shirt and khaki bottoms both times we found out about being induced. This time it was so strange. John and I were so excited we were about to meet our living and breathing daughter. Part one (pregnancy) of Heidi's journey was ending and part two was about to begin. For two hours (before checking in at the hospital) we ran around making our last minute arrangements and gathering everything we needed. For the first time in both of my pregnancies I was nervous about caring for my child. I knew love and appreciation were not a problem at all. I knew I was already a great mother and would be in Heidi life as well, but I didn't know what kind of parent I would be. That is what Heidi has made me - and I have no clue what I am doing. John and I are newbies - Heidi's diapers are the first we have changed. She's the first newborn we have been fully and totally responsible for aiding in life. It all became scary! I'm not even a "kid person".

We arrived in the hospital at 6PM on Tuesday night and began the process of inducing labor with cervidil - in order to open the cervix. I slept for 1 whole hour. Wednesday began the early round of pitocin - after a grueling cold shower. Our nighttime nurse remembered me from delivering Hudson last January. She was not my nurse back then, but she remembered working with our nurse Julie that night. Isn't that crazy? John and I took about an hour nap and were then awoken to "good morning we're here to break your water!" at 8AM. Contractions came (I had been having them all night) and they began to get fierce due to the pitocin. Around 10:30 they were so bad that I couldn't concentrate on my breathing and I would get nauseous just from breathing. The nurse asked if I wanted to try a different position and I did, but it got worse. She asked if I was ready for the epidural and that's when the tears started rolling. The epidural frightens me to death. I did have one with Hudson, but I think I was just walking in a fuzzy cloud during his delivery and I didn't know what was going on until it was happening. I have always been scared of back pain afterwards (my sister-in-law Tina had (still is having) major back problems after having Olivia 4 years ago) as well as paralization. I ended up having one after 4cm. After the procedure I felt so much better.

I cannot remember if this happened before or after the epidural, but my nurse went on to say that she knew this was already and was going to be more emotional for me and it was going to bring back so many emotional memories. She suffered a loss years ago before having other children as well and told me how emotional it was for her in deliveries after that. We hugged and cried together. Next family members were allowed to come back in and then I sat there waiting - wishing I could take a nap. John was taking a nap - he was snoring. Both our moms were in the room on the other side when I started calling out John's name to come over to my bed. I don't know why I was whispering, but I told him that I was feeling pressure and I thought it was time. He went to grab the nurse; she checked and I was right! It was time! John's mom left and John and my mom each took a side of the bed. We were ready to go! I started pushing with the contractions - oh how great it felt to push finally! Then we waited, and waited...and waited for my doctor to get in. I had to stop pushing and hold it in again and that was not too comfortable. So - doctor came and then Heidi made it into the world!! Screaming :)

You have no idea (well, if you have been there you do) how amazing, amazing, that sound was to our ears. Tears were poured from all. Well, I think I was smiling and trying to figure out what everyone was doing and asking questions like "why is she purple" or "what's going on over there" or "why isn't she making any noise over there". John was by my side the whole time with tears and I told him to go hang out with his daughter. He had the biggest smile on his face! It was beautiful to see and to be in that moment with him. I had to sit in my little chair (bed - whatever) and get finished up, but I couldn't stop watching them with Heidi. I was so ready for her to be with me!

I will add more later, but I wanted to get part of the story out while everything was still fresh! It has taken a couple of days to write this because we are enjoying our little Heidi to the fullest! Our should we say - learning what to do with a baby :) By the way - we picked out Heidi because we liked it (it means perky) and Jewell is my grandmother's middle name; my grandmother that passed away last month. We had already chosen her middle name before my grandmother died, but its such a special name!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Project 365 - Day 124

Daddy's little girl...already wrapped around her cute little fingers.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

At Hospital!

I wanted to go ahead an give a quick update! Currently I am sitting in the hospital bed being monitored and all that jazz. I'll be here all night...

We had our 38 week appointment today and the doctor decided now was the time! We had our normal BPP and NST and everything looked just great. I measured at 1.5cm and all other stats were normal. The only concern was the grade of the placenta. Last week the placenta measured at a grade 2 and today it measured at a grade 3. Basically and eventually a placenta will stop giving enough nutrients and blood flow and will begin to calcify. With mine going up there was a little bit of concern. SOOO....we are being induced! It is kind of a surreal experience right now and I don't know if it has really even sunk in yet.

We left the office at 4PM and had to be back at the hospital by 6PM to start the process. I jotted a quick note on facebook just to let everyone know where we were headed and I knew I would have a chance to update once we got settled into the hospital. So for now we are here and just waiting for the meds and BG to do their thing. The nurse said that in most cases a baby would be here between noon and 2PM. I am thinking it might be earlier than that - but it will be soon regardless! I promise to add more details and information later! Please say a prayer that everything will go well and that little BG will be a healthy baby!

Project 365 - Day 122

Tuesday night at the hospital starting the process to see Heidi the next day!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Project 365 - Day 121

The plan for today's picture was going to be from John's softball game. He has a double header tonight. I rushed home and when I got out of the car I noticed my legs where so swollen. Well, not like overly, but swollen for me! It probably had a lot to do with the A/C not working for a little bit at work - it was 84 degrees inside - too hot! So I told John I wouldn't be going - I guess I should not have anyways - the heat index is like 114 and the temperature in my car said it was 104 outside. The leg swelling was a good thing...even though I was going to go to the chiropractor while I was in town. For now I sit with my feet and legs elevated and wait for tomorrow when we have our 38 week doctor's appointment! These once cut and defined muscular legs are soon to be back to normal - whether it starts tomorrow or 14 days from now after BG arrives!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Productive Weekend

This weekend I kind of already covered in the "project 365", but I did want to share the finishing touched of the flowerbed in front of the house. Originally it was overgrown with shrubs, but we fixed it all up and added some color! I love having flowers and color in the yard. It really makes your house "pop". I don't know if you noticed, but I finally caught up on my 365 project - I kept taking pictures and I would forget to post them. I would never like to get that far behind again because I could not remember which pictures went to some of the days. Now that I am caught up hopefully the stories behind the pictures will get better and not just "fluff" as my husband calls them. Yes, he reads and critiques my blog. This morning I asked him if he was a member of the blog police. Maybe John should guest blog more often and show me how it is done!! I have washed all of the hand-me-down 0-3 month clothes and they are ready to be put away when the furniture arrives. Sheets have been washed as well. Just waiting for everything else to fall into place! Sunday night we went over to a friend's house to play cards - I won :)

John and Hunter were exhausted afterwards and took a little nap.

John installed the car seat in his car (I need new tires) and we went to buy the base for my car.

Project 365 - Day 120

BG has some bows! We picked some up last night!!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Project 365 - Day 119

We hired some cheap laborers (my parents) today - they helped us finally finish our flower bed in the front of the house, plant Hudson's Magnolia tree and figured out what we needed to do about the places with dying grass. It is so nice to finally have the yard out of the way and finished! We did, however, choose what is supposed to be one of the hottest days of the year to be outside planting. The trip to Lowe's was filled with my many mini breaks to walk inside in the AC. John grilled hamburgers - which were SO delicious; which was the payment for our worker's hard work and knowledge. The baby furniture was supposed to be in, but of course in true fashion it was not. Maybe next week we'll finally have some. My mom and dad were going to help us with setting up the nursery and getting it all together, but it ended up being just a day full of yard work.
John and I have been together so long and its funny to think of the early stages when we were dating - how we would walk through stores talking about things we wanted to do in our house and decor we wanted to use, how we wanted the yard, who was going to do what its all coming true. It is fun to finally be doing the things that we have talked about for almost 9 years. Luckily we both have great families that are ready and willing to help us achieve the dreams we have.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Project 365 - Day 118

KP - does anyone else have an issue with this? It's called Keratosis Pilaris (KP) or so fondly referred to as "chicken skin". It started appearing on my arms when I began taking prenatal vitamins (oh so many years ago) and hasn't gone away since. It does look better because I have started to exfoliate more and trying to open up the follicles. My right arm is worse than my left one. Apparently 40-50% of women have this - hooray for KP....

Thursday, June 10, 2010


Apparently I worked us a little too hard on our walk today...

Project 365 - Day 117

Remember the Triscuit incident at work? We have a new food incident! I always have food at work in case I need a quick snack. I keep a jar of peanut butter very handy because I can just dip into it with a spoon and then it will help me if I feel like my sugar levels are too low. Today I brought a banana and I thought that the peanut butter would be a great treat to eat with it! WELL, I went to open the jar and the lid was loose - THEN there were dips in in someone had stuck their fingers into the jar of peanut butter. Not only that, but there was peanut butter on the side of the jar from having it on their fingers. GROSS AND RUDE!! Who does that? Seriously? I mean I don't even know whose hands got into it, if they were clean, or anything. My day was ruined...

I told the guys at work that if they did it that was disgusting and they deserve to be shot. They blamed the kids (as in my niece and nephew). I told them I knew it wasn't them because they always ask me for my snacks. Someone owes me a box of Triscuits and a jar of peanut butter...


It happens to every pregnant woman. Everyday towards the end you are asked if the baby is here yet or when it will be here, etc. It really isn't annoying (unless a certain person asks you every 5 minutes and you tell them they are irritating you by asking 5 million times and then they stop - thanks!) but it happens. So we deal with it. We deal with the "whoas" the "how many are you carrying" the comments about everything possible. We even somehow deal with the strange woman in in Food Lion that pats your belly as she is walking by and says, "Not too much longer!". Yes, that happened and she almost lost that arm, my hands were full with boxes of cereal. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have all the other questions and have to listen to needless advice from everyone and their Aunt Sue. Advice is great and I am thankful I have so many knowledgeable friends and family members, but its still out of order.

I have been through the labor process before. I have given birth before. I know what to expect. I did this before most of my friends. So it kind of stings when advice is given that I should have been giving for the past year. Make sense? So as much as everyone tries to be helpful it hurts at the same time. I know that no one is trying to hurt my feelings and one day it might not sting so much - one day. You know what goes through my head sometimes? This is really awful...awful awful. I think to myself well, when someone has to bury their child I will be able to give advice and experience on that subject. How terrible does that sound?? I would never wish that upon anyone, but its how bitter the subject is. I become bitter and upset when I am told to be patient and and hang in there because you want to know what it feels like? I feel like I have been pregnant for almost 2 years. June 2008 was when our journey with having kids and pregnancy began - so for 2 years we have basically been pregnant and still pregnant - waiting.

I guess I sometimes feel like I am a step behind everyone else and I am always playing catch up. John and I dated forever and then we finally got engaged (which is definitely ok and fine!) - before we got engaged, the same time or after our engagement everyone that only dated a short while got engaged as well. Then we got pregnant - and well you know that story. So then others started getting pregnant and their having all their babies after Hudson but before our BG and it makes everything feel like its crumbling down on me - trying to tread water to stay "in line" with everyone else. The truth is I really don't care about doing what everyone else is, but right now it just seems unfair.

I have learned that everyone has their own path and mine is full of detours that I have had to take - and that is fine. Well, I am still learning that it is fine. I am learning that I cannot control everything in my life. I like to have my life planned like a perfect little timeline and its not anymore. I am learning more and more that God is in control and ultimately HE is the one that I need to worry about and have a "perfect" relationship with; that is what matters. I do not like to ask for help - really ever. I have been doing that lately and letting go of things. The laundry has been piling up and my dishes are left everywhere - luckily I have a wonderful husband that takes up my slack. The nursery is not even close to being finished and I am okay with that as well. I asked my parents to come over this weekend to help with setting up the furniture and help me get organized - and to help my poor little weeded flower bed. Luckily they are excited to do so :)

I don't even know how I got on the subject of everything above. When I sat to write this post was going to write about how I am mad that the doctor that delivered Hudson mentioned that I would go early - like 36-37 weeks for delivery. So since then I have had it in my mind that this baby should be here - now. I don't deal well with things not happening when I am expecting them too. I am, however, proud of how I am handling the situation this time. I have a perfect example of a time when it would have been a travesty and I would have been sobbing, pleading, and having a panic attack. It was back in high school (when I was Miss Sensitive - "look at me the wrong way and I will cry") and I had this awful plantar wart on my foot. Gross, I know. It got to the point where it hurt to walk...then to cheer...and then to dance. At that point something had to be done. We went to some doctor and he tried to freeze it off - well, that made the little sucker spread and turn bigger. Next we went to my dermatologist - whom I had a very close relationship to being that I had awful skin and I was allergic to everything that touched my skin. Well, I had it in my mind that at that very visit this painful wart would be taken care of - it would be cut out and done with. WELL, apparently the wart was too big and too deep that I would bleed to death (ok, not really, but I would bleed a lot) and I needed to go to a plastic surgeon to have it lasered off. Ok, no big deal right? Just take me there and lets get it done. So, the plastic surgeon we wanted to use was the same one that stitched up the skin beside my eye when I was hit with a metal baseball bat. Apparently he was busy that day - so I through a royal tantrum, the biggest hissy fit a 17 year old girl could throw. Seriously - I started to hyperventilate. I had it in my mind and was ready for this painful torturous event and it needed to happen then - I was mentally prepared. So, I don't know what happened, but Dr. Van made room for me and we had it lasered off that day - maybe I passed out or something - I don't know. (On a side-note if you have not seen the root of a plantar wart you have missed out.)

The point is I was expecting something to happen and when it did not I went into hysterics. Not because I was being a brat or I had to have it my way, but because I had mentally prepared myself and it took so much energy to prepare for something like that - knowing it was going to be painful. See how much I have grown? I sit here calmly waiting for BG to make her arrival. I have not been begging for an induction just waiting patiently. Now, inside my mind is going crazy, but at least I have not thrown myself into fits about it! It is still frustrating, but I have to keep telling myself that each morning I wake up is one morning closer until I will hold my precious daughter in my arms.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Project 365 - Day 116

I wanted to share a picture of this little guy....

He was crossing the road on my way to the river over the weekend. So cute!!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Recital 2010

Recital was last night and the girls did an amazing job! I was/am so proud of them! I wish I had recorded the evening performance, but I at least have the matinee one - the evening performance was more amazing. So remember the LOSER post? Well, apparently I am not a loser after all. It was mentioned by a little birdie that I was a little upset with the non-recognition and it was announced on stage - as well as the other ones that helped with the recital. I was in the audience and had to walk up to the stage, but it was nice to be recognized. The dance studio teacher (whom I danced for 15 years under) apologized for not adding it and also mentioned that she never does. I, unfortunately, have a psychotic memory and remember when choreographer's names were listed under their dances.

These girls have worked incredibly hard this year and I can see how much improvement there has been just by watching them throughout the recital. They range from ages 13-17 so and there is a wide variety of technique and experience. Sometimes it can be challenging making sure you showcase each individualist talent but still making the group work and look good together. It can be difficult to make sure everyone is challenged in some level, but hopefully the girls felt challenged and they learned something this year. Considering I have not taught a dance class in 8-9 years and I have not choreographed anything in about 6 years they were a great group of girls to "break me in" again.

I have so much in store for these girls for next year and I am so excited! It will be nice to have a break for the next few months - everyone gets burnt out at some point. BG will be out in the world and I will be able to demonstrate exactly what steps should look like in dances and be able to dance more and not look like an Umpaloompa when on the floor rolling around. I really cannot say enough how proud I am of them and I hope to see them all again next year. I will miss Hannah, our lone senior, but she will be off doing great things of her own at college :)

Below are the dances. The first is from the end of the opening number - edited version of Thriller. The second is from the Kings of Leon song Closer and the last is Fever - scratch that...I have tried for 24 hours to get the videos to post and they won't!! UGH! Anyways - I will find a way or the patience to try again later :)

Project 365 - Day 113

Today my parents invited their small group to their place on the river for a cookout, boating and social time. My mom had told me about it at some point during the week and its a miracle I even thought about it! I had to decide between either cleaning the house or taking Hunter for a fun adventure to run around at the river...tough choice, right? So around noon time I packed up and we headed to the river! Hunter LOVES to run free around this place. He wears himself out completely exploring everywhere.

On the way there I sent John a text message of Hunter sitting in the back seat and said, "we're goin' on a trip! to be continued..." and he replied by asking where we were going. I told him that I would tell him in pictures. When we were off the interstate I took another picture of Hunter and wrote "almost there!". Once we arrived I let Hunter out of the car and then he ran around and the look on the faces of those outside was priceless. They thought some wild dog had run up on their party. Apparently my mom shot up so fast in the picnic house and scared everyone. Then my dad realized it was Hunter and called his name and Hunter went running up to him. My dad loves Hunter - he really wants another dog, but they are going to wait for awhile before getting one.

I sent John a text message with a picture of Hunter with the picnic house in the background and said, "we're here!!". I think he was a little nervous because he asked if I was there alone. John has been a little nervous these days making sure he knows where I am. He wants to make sure I will have a way to get to the hospital when the time comes. John told me that the only reason he has for having an induction would be so that it would be planned and we could be together knowing the time was about to come when I would need to get to the hospital. He's a little nervous dad right now. So sweet. I guess because I was only at the hospital for such a short moment before Hudson was born he wants to make sure we leave in time!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Project 365 - Day 112

It is recital day!! Emily is getting all "glammed" up and ready for her big night. Tonight Emily will perform in both of the performances - in the ballet and tap/jazz productions. She is so excited!

Friday, June 4, 2010

LOSER what I felt like tonight :(

So, I was always a very sensitive person growing up - you could look at me the wrong way and I would cry. No lie. I've pretty much grown a little thicker skin and I can handle "life" in a much better way. I haven't really even had any irrational emotional breakdowns since I have been pregnant. Tonight was the final rehearsal for the dance studio that I help out at. The helping out has been teaching the teen jazz class and choreographing 2 jazz dances for them for the recital.

I was so excited about seeing the program and seeing "choreographed by Kimberly....". It has been about 6 years since I have choreographed anything, so I was pumped! Well, guess what was missing in the program. You got it, my name as a choreographer. I know its petty and I am probably more upset because I am about to pop, but I really did want to cry. Its not like I am expecting all this recognition and praise, just a little acknowledgement for the year's worth of hard work. It wasn't even like this was a paying job - I taught the class for free because I was asked to and thought it would be fun. It has been a lot of fun and I have enjoyed being with the girls and getting to know all of their personalities. I will miss them this summer and I will miss our one senior that will be going off to college in the fall. It just stinks that people won't know that I put in the hard work for the dances.

If I can find my point and shoot camera charger I will record the dances and upload them tomorrow or Sunday :)

Project 365 - Day 111

It is rehearsal night! Tomorrow is the big day for the recital - I cannot wait for the girls to perform...

Thursday, June 3, 2010

36 Week (& 2 day) Update

How Far Along?: 36 weeks

Total Weight Gain?: 27 lbs.

Maternity Clothes?: Yes - most definitely. Is there a clothing for beyond maternity? I had to bring out the "white flag" underwear as John refers to them...

Sleep?: Nope, dreaming all the nightmares I can get. Sweating more than I have ever sweated in my life while John is bundled up in blankets. I never get hot...

Best Moment This Month?: Seeing John paint the nursery :)

Movement?: Yes, of course movements are more subtle which freaks me out, but I am still getting great movement.

Body Changes/Labor Signs?: More contractions!! YAY!! Who cheers for contractions these days? I sure do! I am 1cm dilated - so only 9 more to go!! A little more swelling in my hands and feet by the end of the day and my face is filling in quite nicely, but nothing to worry about. My blood pressure is still cool as a cucumber at 90/68 :)

Belly Button?: It all depends on where she is hanging out. Today someone told me that I still have a few more months to go because my belly button isn't popped out. WRONG!

What I Miss: Being able to read a paragraph out loud in small group without getting breathless...

What I Am Looking Forward To: I think we all know the answer to this one :)

Appointment went well - it would have been better if they were ready to induce me :) I had the strep B test and we will have the results at our next appointment. I am at 1cm dilated - so we know something is going on! John painted the nursery and we are waiting on the furniture to arrive. It should be here the end of next week! I am looking forward to having everything set up and ready. I have washed the sheets, but that is about it. I have a little area with bags ready for me and BG and her clothes laid to the side - that I still need to wash. Maybe that will be a nice weekend project. Yeah right :) For now I just (im)patiently wait for BG to make her appearance. Oh, I am officially finished with the heparin shots and baby aspirin - WAHOO!! Now my bruises will have a chance to heal.

Project 365 - Day 110

This is part of my job. I take pictures of our customers (and usually the salesperson) after they have purchased a car from my sister/brother-in-law's dealership. Check out the website if you need a car - Kellers Auto Sales.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Project 365 - Day 108

Guess what - its JUNE!! The month BG will grace us with her presence :)
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