Mid-Life Crisis

About 2 months ago I had a breakdown. I would start at the beginning, but I really do not know where to begin. The best beginning I can think of is when I was at my cousin's wedding in July of 2010. I clearly remember putting make-up on. I have always leaned more to the natural side of make-up. Growing up my skin was constantly breaking out. I really think it has to do with the humidity down here. When I left for college I rarely had breakouts. When we moved back to Savannah, I started having breakouts again - not near as bad as before, but a few here and there. Its gotten better and what I think is bad might not be to some, but we all have our own measurements of bad and good when it comes to our own bodies.
Anyway, I put make-up on before we were leaving to go to the wedding and my sister looks at me {after I said I was ready} and asks me if I am going to put on any make-up. I told her I had and I am sure my face became flushed as I was trying to tend to Heidi as well as myself - we need to remember Heidi was 5 days away from being a month old at this point. So I told her that if she didn't like it then she could do it for me. She did, as always, and then we left. I would continuously remind my sister of this situation and she would constantly say how my generation {we are 9 years apart and clearly in different generations, right?} was so much more casual. I told her I liked casual and not wearing make-up, or too much make-up.

So knowing that the above incident happened 2 years ago and I still remember it clear as day we all know it has gotten to me, right? I have gone through so many phases in my life. I think I have always been one to wear mainly powder and mascara with chapstick/lip gloss. I occasionally would wear eye liner {y'all remember when we all wore the white/silver liner???} and eye shadow, but it was not an everyday wear. Maybe I was intimidated by the different make-up products, but I think it was more of not wanting to wake up in time to put all the make-up on. I think my mom always said that if it took you longer than 10 minutes then you were wearing too much. Or maybe it was 5. I cannot remember.

Now, flash forward to me turning 30. I have no idea why this has been such a hard age to reach. Its obviously a mental thing. I have had so many revelations and thoughts that are making me go CRAZY. There are days that I am lucky to leave the house having taken a shower. Ok, no it really is not that bad. I never leave the house not having showered. Except those rare weekend moments when I have to go grocery shopping. So maybe the shower part was a bit dramatic. So we can assume I have showered and dried my hair. That much would have been done. No make-up, maybe the front of my hair has been straightened. If it was raining I was definitely rocking the frizz curls. Usually my hair would be pulled back in a ponytail. The easiest thing for me was to grab one of our logo t-shirts and jeans and be done. Viola, ready for work!

After using the said approach for a few months I became so depressed with everything. I started thinking about what kind of woman that I want Heidi to grow up to be and how I needed to be a better example of certain things to her. This is where the breakdown came about. John was out of town for a couple of days for work and Heidi had to stay at my parent's house a couple of nights because I had recital rehearsals that went late into the night. It was a Thursday and I went into Ulta, looking so homely. I walked around for about 10 minutes and literally no one offered to help me. I then remembered the make-up counters in Belk and decided to try there. When I was starting high school my mom took me to the Clinque counter to learn what colors would be best for me. So, I headed to Clinque and looked around and a tall sales associate asked if I needed some help.

This is so embarrassing.

I told her yes.

She then asked what I needed help with...

I told her everything....

....and started sobbing.

Seriously. I started sobbing in the middle of the Clinique counter in Belk at the mall.

Who does that? Me, apparently. Of course it could also have to do with the hormones as well....but nonetheless I was so embarrassed that I was crying in front of a perfect stranger about nothing. It really wasn't "nothing" it was about my self-esteem and how poorly I felt about myself. My hair was going crazy, I wasn't losing weight, and my face was homely. So Kaleigh sat me down and proceeded to go over everything in the make-up world with me. It was perfect - the entire experience. I left with so much knowledge and power in my bag of products. So for a few days I did the full on make-up thing, but not so much right now. I do not think that I was a full fan of the liquid foundation and powder {and quick frankly John did not like all the "stuff" on my face} so I have gone to more of a pressed powder and then the rest of the stuff. Even actual colored lipstick. There are a couple of days where I am sans make-up, but for the most part I wear make-up.

Next, I also chopped all my hair off and added highlights. Yay, fun! I really like them and I hope to keep them, maybe even go a little lighter next time.

I feel that taking care of yourself is super important and that is something I want to be an example of to Heidi. I am not just talking about personal hygiene {which if you are wondering I am fine in that area - geeze} but more so in a general appearance. You don't have to buy things to make yourself look better or have money to do all these things, but you can make sure you get up each morning, fix your hair, and throw on some make-up. I know that adding in the make-up routine and not being as intimidated {especially in regards to the eye shadow} as I was has definitely made a world of difference to me.

Now, the weight loss on the other hand - that is a totally different story. I had strep throat about a month ago {maybe you can recall the correlation with catching up on the blog} and that lasted about a week {no gym} the next week I was still on antibiotics and they made me sick {no gym} then we went to Vegas {no gym} and then we were in Myrtle Beach {no gym} and I haven't been since...ugh. Maybe next week, right??

Olympics

I actually watched the entire Opening Ceremony of the Olympics last night. Really, I am still in shock myself. I usually do not watch it the whole way through. I enjoyed it, was it something I was excited about - no. I was wanting more dancing and stuff like that. The whole cell phone "age of technology" bit was way above my head. Oh well, in four years we will have another one to view! I loved watching the countries enter the stadium. I really liked to see the populations vs. number of participants.
The whole thing made me start thinking. Scary, right?

No, really, it made me feel like I should be an Olympic athlete. Crazy - I know. So while watching the ceremony I started googling a sport that I thought I could possibly train for - this is crazytown. Y'all will never believe what I have actually thought {in my mind} that I would actually have a chance at going to the Olympics as an Olympian. We need to take a brief second and note that I did not say I would win a medal, but only to participate in the Olympics.

Track & Field.

More so the track portion.

Individually - the 400m hurdles.

Are you laughing yet?

Stop it - you are crushing my dreams!

Ok, I really did sit on the internet googling times and how to qualify and all the whatnot. I ran hurdles in high school and for a lazy athlete I was really good at them. I can still remember the glorious 49 second run at one of the meets in the 300m hurdles. Did you know that the best American time for the 400m hurdles is 53.08? Now yes, its an extra 100m, but its not too far off, right? I think you could add about 12-15 seconds to my 49 seconds {equaling 61 - 64} and that would be my time back in the glory days. I say glory days with a snicker because even back then I feel like I could have been better. On practice days I was blah about practicing and the only time I ever really had a chance to run the 300m hurdles was during the meets because I did not want to set up the hurdles and all that jazz at practice each day.

So laugh at my little dream all you want. Maybe this will hold my interest for the next week, maybe  a month, or maybe it will happen. You never know with dreams, right??

I would also like to mention that Mr. Pearson {a friend for a very long time} even mentioned the hurdles on my facebook status. Is it a sign?

Requests

I thought I would keep an up-to-date post with a few different prayer requests and add to them as I am sent new ones. Also updating the ones I post. Prayer is such a powerful tool and there are so many that need our prayers. I will most likely leave out names to protect privacy and the requests will be taken directly from the e-mails received. If you have a prayer request that you would like to be added please e-mail! E-mail: kkhenninger (at) yahoo (dot) com {Just so you know I know how to type an e-mail address properly, but this eliminates SPAM ;)}

"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven". Matthew 18:19

8/31 Please add my friend "S" to your prayer list. She is a very BRAVE mother of three beautiful children who has cancer. It started as colon cancer and has metastasized to several other areas. She has been given a grim prognosis, but I know our God is in the Miracle making business. Unfortunately S passed away and has joined all of our loved ones we miss.

8/31 "N", her 10 year old son has Leukemia. He has been released from the hospital this week, but is very weak. Please pray for him - he has a twin.

8/31 A young man "L" that has been fighting the past 4 months to live after an accident passed away recently. Please pray for comfort for his family and the community.

9/1 Our military and those military that are currently deployed. I have a request for one group that is in a special mission. Please continue to pray for all of our military and their families.

7/27 My sister-in-law - with a few various requests. Mainly for her brother who recently had a heart attack.

7/27 My mother-in-law; she will be having surgery on Monday for an artery.

7/27 Hannah {a friend of a friend} who has undergone surgery and is fighting for her life. She had to have both her hands and feet amputated.

7/27 A friend's mom Mrs. Parker - cancer in her head and neck.

7/27 Mr. Irvin {who works in our school system} was in a back wreck this morning.

7/27 Lyndsey's cousin Parker, he was born blind. Please pray for him and his parents as they learn to adjust to his needs.

7/27 My new nephew William {more about him later - and pictures!} as he adjusts to his new life here in America from China.

7/27 I have a few friends that want so desperately to expand their family. Many have suffered miscarriages or have been trying for a long time and nothing. Please pray for these women as they venture through the journey of infertility.

7/27 A friend of mine who is claiming atheism.

7/27 My friends that are expecting. {my sanity during this time!}

7/27 My friend and sorority sister who is leaving to go on her first medical mission trip!

7/27 My friend Lindsey - her water broke at 33 weeks; she is in the hospital where they have stopped labor.

7/27 My friend Keri who is on bedrest while expecting her second - only a few more weeks!

Diva's Who Dine

Mondays for Mom? Ladies who Linger? We're not really divas, but I love alliteration and its all I could think of at the moment. Monday night Melissa, Lyndsey and I headed out for a little girl's night dinner at Mellow Mushroom. I think this is one of the first times I have done something like this after work. It was great! I loved talking with these amazing friends I have. Seriously - friends like these {and of course there are more of you out there!} are what have gotten me to where I am right now. These are the type of friends who have been there for me during the most difficult times of grief. Of course I have known them forever, but we rarely have nights like this! Melissa and I laughed that we actually got to hang out twice in like 2 weeks! Lyndsey and I see each other at least once a week. Cindy and Holly were not there, but we missed them! I hope that we can make the time to have many more girls nights like this!

Heidi Ballerina

Move out Angelina - here comes Heidi! I was so stinkin' excited today! Today was the day John and I took Heidi to get fitted for ballet and tap shoes! This is a moment I have been waiting for since I found out I was having a girl. Truthfully the moment I had a girl I immediately pictured my sweet little girl in a tutu at her first recital. Only a few more months until that moment! I kept going back and forth with deciding whether or not to start her because there is only one studio in town that accepts two year olds. The studio I took from starts at three and while I am completely loyal to this studio I am so ready {and Heidi is too!!} to start Heidi in ballet and tap. One thing I am completely out of my element in is baton - this studio had them doing a little bit of baton as well in Heidi's class. That should be interesting.
So today Miss Priss was fitted for her first pair of ballet shoes, tap shoes, and a baton! When we were trying her shoes on the lady was coming close and Heidi did not like that. Heidi is not a fan of strangers at all. Poor thing was curling her little toes up. I took the shoes so that I could fit her with the shoe and I heard the words that broke my heart, "I don't want to dance.". John started to snicker and I gave him the death look. I was so upset, but I knew it was only because of the strangers there and once we got the shoes on she would be fine. Once Heidi got her shoes on it was great! She did not want to take them off! Then came the tap shoes and those were even harder to get her to take off!

Princess Heidi

On our way to Myrtle Beach Heidi watched the movie Sleeping Beauty, given to her by Sarah and the boys on her birthday. Ever since then I have been obsessed with hearing her say the word princess. It is adorable! Anyway, I thought she would enjoy a few dress-up clothes to "dress up like a princess". I loved dress-up as a child and with Heidi already loving to pretend with clothes I knew it would be a hit! John and I did some rearranging in Heidi's room while she was gone and we added a little bar between two pieces of furniture to hang her dress-up clothes on while not in use.
On Sunday Heidi and I played all day with these clothes! She had a blast. We also played with tu-tus and dancewear! I cannot wait to have many more dress-up days!

She was looking at herself in the mirror :)

Andrea's Shower

Happy shower day Wyatt! Today {Saturday} we showered Andrea with goodies for sweet baby Wyatt. Andrea's friends threw the shower at "What's the Scoop" which is a YUMMY place to eat! Andrea and I went to VSU together and she met and married a guy I went to high school with - worlds colliding!

Lyndsey & Holly

Andrea and a few of her gifts!

Winning at BINGO - not really, but enjoying baby BINGO!

Ladies Who Lunch :)

Andrea and her wonderful hostesses!

Brandi

Love these ladies!

After the shower I headed to church - wait BEFORE the shower I dropped my sister's dogs off at her house. Let me say I was not sad to drop them off at all. So - now they are back in their home after their week at my house. After dropping the dogs off it was shower time and then I went to church! Have I mentioned how much I love Saturday night services? After church I headed home to play the waiting game. Heidi was coming home! My parents were on their way back from Destin {they had taken Heidi and 3 of her cousins for the week} and boy, do they drive S.L.O.W., seriously. I think I could have driven to Destin and back. Well, regardless Heidi made it home and John and I were so happy to finally have our baby girl home! Heidi had a great time with her cousins, but she was so happy to be in her mama's arms! Luckily we have no more vacation plans that include being separated from Heidi - so yay! Only one more vacation plan for the year left - then its boresville. Not really, but I love being on vacation....

5 Married Years!

So this was a busy weekend for us! Lots of things going on in the Henninger household. A couple of days prior to the weekend John and I went out to eat to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary. Our actual wedding anniversary is July 21st. We share that with my parents who are celebrating 45 years now and also my mom's birthday. We've been together almost 11 years! Crazy! We decided to eat out while Heidi was in Destin with her grandparents and cousins for the week. The restaurant of choice for the anniversary of wood and silver was Longhorns. I know, fancy right? We had steak and shrimp - yum!

2001

2003

2007

My parents on their wedding day 1967

It has been a crazy 5 years and I sometimes I think "its only been 5 years?". Considering how long we have been together and everything that we have experienced it definitely feels like we have been married longer. I have truly enjoyed every moment we have been married. Ups, downs, our first house, children - so much. It has been amazing to see how we have changed and molded the past decade. We started dating at 19, so you can imagine the how much we have changed now that we are 30. There are still changes that are in progress and changes we will experiences years from now. Even our love for each other will change as it grows and we learn new ways to love - its just perfect how it all plays out!

I cannot wait to see what the future holds for us - we have some exciting plans and ideas for the future. Its going to be wonderful to watch what God does with us and in our lives. John, I love you very much and I am honored to be your wife. 11 years - 5 years - and forever to come!

Current Results

Here are pictures of the current results from the previous post. My glory day! You have to be impressed - right? If not, then I don't care because I am and my husband is - and Heidi will be once she sees it. There is still a lot of fine tuning to do, but I threw away so much stuff you would be amazed! The cedar chest used to contain and ton of random things, but it has been converted to a filing cabinet. I will take better detailed pictures this weekend. It still needs one more component to make it fully functional for me. For now prepare to be amazed!!

Pat on the Back

I finally did it y'all - I tackled the guest room. For about the entire time we have lived in our house it has been my crap pile. When guests would spend the night I would say, "You are welcome to anything in our house, just don't open this closet.". It was so embarrassing. Heidi has been with her grandparents and three of her cousins in Destin this week so I figured why not do it now. I have tried repeatedly to work on it with Heidi around, but bless her little helping heart, this mama does not make any progress at all in the black hole.
My normal "clean-up" routine is to take whatever piles I have sitting around the house and throw them in the guest room closet. If you cannot see the mess then it is not there, right? Exactly! Small problem, eventually the mess become larger than the space containing the mess. I am pretty sure I have established that I am a mini-hoarder.

Hello, My name is Kimberly and I am a hoarder.

Hello, Kimberly.

It was either clean up the mess or get a divorce. I chose divorce, but that was going to be even more difficult, so I put my big girl panties on and got into the guest room to clean it up. I do have a before picture that I will share with you once I have the final after picture - but that will be for another post later today or tomorrow. Hmm...probably Monday. Tonight is the final night and I will be finished!! I cannot believe it - to quote MLK, JR. "Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty we are {I am} free at last!". By the way, divorce was never an option - just being dramatic ;)

Now that this mess is finished I will not know what to do with all my free mind space. No more will I worry about that guest room closet and the mess I need to tackle. No longer will I feel guilty about watching t.v. while the mess was somehow nesting and getting bigger. I know I will have more little project areas around the house to tackle, but this one, the mother of all projects is done. Now I can actually stick to my "tidy up for an hour" schedule and not my "take a full week to reorganize the guest room without really accomplishing and single thing".

Pictures to come!!

Lunch with Friends

Today I met up with CMK and Melissa for lunch! It was so wonderful to have lunch with these great friends. We literally could have sat and talked for a week. I think we were there for about 3 hours or so, but the time went by so quickly. It is always such a fun time to catch up with old friends and I love how its as if time has not even passed by when you meet up. I cannot think of the last time the three of us went to eat out together, which is sad, but it was a great time! Already ready for the next one ladies!!

Myrtle Beach Trip

We made it in from Las Vegas, picked up Heidi {Hunter would be staying another week at my parent's house}, headed home and started laundry! The next morning we were heading to Myrtle Beach, SC for our beach vacation with John's side of the family. We were up way too late packing and loving on our sweet Heidi.
The morning came too quickly. I was up at 4AM and we were on the road by 6AM. We had to wake our sleeping beauty up and we left her in her pajamas thinking she would nap for a little on the way. What on earth were we thinking? There were no naps to be had. I was desperate for one, deeply anticipating the afternoon nap. Heidi watched a couple of DVDs and we stopped for breakfast on the go.

We arrived to Myrtle Beach quickly and met the family at the condo. Shortly after unloading and unpacking we headed to the beach! It ended up raining about an hour or so after we got on the beach, but luckily we made it inside before the big storm!

After the beach we had a birthday celebration for John, Brad, and their Uncle Jim. Not only was John's entire immediate family there, but there were several aunts, uncle, and cousins there as well!

Our little family made it an early night that night. I think we were all in bed by 9:30 - it had been such a long day for us!

The next morning we woke up refreshed and headed to the beach!

At night we went to the Boardwalk and had a great time! We walked around for awhile, went the carnival, and the Lego place! The kids had the most fun with the bubble machine gun. After the boardwalk we went home and went to bed!

Throwing pennies in the fountain

 Riding the shark

Playing in the bubbles

Riding the tea-cup

Sitting on daddy's shoulders

Group shot

Lego Land

Bigger group shot

Next morning we, {can you guess??} went to the beach! I mean what is going on a beach vacation without going to the beach? After the beach we had a scheduled family photo shoot down at Huntington State Park {a post on its own after we get the pictures....}. Before the pictures we had dinner at Dead Dog Saloon and then after pictures John and I took Heidi to have ice cream at the Boardwalk before heading to bed!

Friday morning we woke up and...you guess it....went to the beach! It was our last day and we hung out there for a few hours, took Heidi in for her nap, and then we packed up and headed home in the early evening.

We had such a great time on the beach. Heidi had a blast! She kept wanting to build sandcastles and pick seashells. The little wagon we brought was perfect to tote the little ones - they loved it! We were grateful that it only rained the one day which left us for many beach days!

Vegas - The Departure...

The alarms went off way too early this morning. I definitely did not get very much sleep John and I quickly got ready and then went downstairs to check out. Now, I am not telling you where to stay or anything, but if you want to go to Vegas and have a great time while not spending tons and tons of money you must stay at old Vegas. We stayed there 4 nights and it was less than $150 – total. This isn’t a run-down hotel or anything either. It is an older hotel {we actually all stayed there 9 years ago when we went for John’s 21^st birthday} and they have changed the name from Fitzgerald’s to The D, but it was a great place to stay! My thoughts are this – we never stay in the hotel room long. Why pay way too much for a room you are barely going to use? I also recommend flying Southwest. The rates were at least half price of what everyone else was charging.

 We caught a cab to the airport and were there by 3:45 and then we had to wait in line for the airlines to open up. We checked our bags {which fly free!} and then headed to our gate. We grabbed some breakfast and then waited for our flight to board. Right now I am on the plane blogging because I do not know when else I would have a chance to recap our vacation – we’re on the way to Nashville to catch our flight to Jacksonville and then drive home to pick up Heidi – yay! We had one stop in Kansas City for people to get off and new people to get on. While there we had some maintenance issues and were grounded for quite a while. At one point they said we could get off to grab a bite to eat, but as soon as they said that and people started to get off they said to sit down because we were going to have to change planes. We sat, and sat, and sat, and then they said our plane was good and we would be taking off soon.

 I do need to note also with Southwest is they are great at giving you tons of snacks! The snacks were nice considering it was 6AM Vegas time when we ate and then it is way past lunch time right now. Ok, just got the “turn your electronics off” signal.

 We have made it to Nashville! And we’re still here….30 minutes longer than scheduled. We have yet another maintenance issue and are sitting in the airport waiting for a new plane. I just talked to Heidi and let her know we would be there soon to pick her up and take her to the beach!

 One funny thing did happen while we were waiting to board. A woman came up to the gate and said she was on standby for the flight and wanted to try and get on this one. She was elderly – at least late 70’s. The gate agent called whomever and said, “I have Ms. So-in-so up here and she almost had a heart attack, can we get her a boarding pass?” Just the way he said it was hilarious. It was true though – the woman was not looking very well when she came up to the gate.

 We are just so ready to get home…

The plane was not fixed - we have a new plane! Time to board and get home - see ya on the flip side!