Gym - ugh

The gym is still going on...ugh. Last week was a bust - I think I only went a couple of times {one of those being with the trainer} and then one day I worked out at my house. There was a lot going on and I had Heidi at work with me and she will not go to the day-care center thing. I fell apart on the eating habits this week - but I just need to let that week go behind me and focus on the next six weeks ahead and my goal. Today was training day and it went great. I wish I could train everyday....even though I hate the hard work I know I am going to love the results. Someday.

Yesterday I planned on going to the gym before work, but Heidi spent the night with my parents the night before and I was having such a relaxing time leisurly getting ready. I opted for working out afte work instead. I really hate going after work. It has been great going before work for multiple reasons. Its nice to get it out of the way and then it also does not give me a chance to find a reason not to go after work.

So, I get to the gym and it takes me forever to get situated. I get into the stall to change and realize I forgot my socks. Then my shoe fell into the toilet. Gross. I almost have up right then to go home, but I dried my shoe off with the hairdryers that are in the locker room and sucked it up. You better believe I scrubbed my feet hard when I got home. I know that toilet water is clean, but still. Gross.

Memorial Day Weekend

Happy Memorial Day! We had a nice 3-day weekend at home just hanging out! On Saturday my co-worker needed someone to watch his son, so asked me. Before committing I had to ask about the potty/diaper situation because I have a week stomach. The little boy is three and I did not know if he was potty trained or not. I was told he was potty trained with pull-ups, so I agreed to let him come and play with Heidi for the hours his dad had to work. In the first hour the little boy went #1 and #2 in the potty. I was thankful because the #2 party made me a little nervous so I let him do his own thing in the bathroom. Heidi was very helpful to flush the toilet for him. A few minutes later Heidi told me she needed to go to the potty and I took her, but on the way I saw the little boy squatting beside Heidi's recliner. I thought to myself, "he's making a poop face, but there is no way he is because he just went." Heidi and I finished in the potty and the little boy came to me and said he pooped.
I was so nervous.

One thing you must know about me is that I have a very weak stomach and changing diapers {of other children} is not something I can do. Heidi is the only child I have changed diapers for and for good reason. I put the little boy in a changing position and I barely got his shorts off and the dry-heaving started. I could not see because my eyes were tearing up so badly. I could not breathe. It was horrible. I had no idea what to do. The only thing I could think was to go to my neighbor and ask if she could help. How utterly embarrassing! Luckily she was able to come to my rescue. I am telling you I could not even make it to the trash can without dry-heaving and my eyes tearing up. I had contemplated working in the church nursery a little this summer, but not anymore.

 After the diaper fiasco I had the 3 girls from next door join Heidi and our little friend. The neighbors are building a swing set so I figured the least I could do was let the girls play at my house to keep them out of their parent's hair. The girls next door are great and they love Heidi - and Heidi adores them. I think they have lived there about 3-4 months and so far we have really enjoyed getting to know the girls and their parents. Its great to finally have friends in our neighborhood! Heidi is such a cute little hostess and loves to "help mama" with everything I am doing. She even helped her little friend get off the potty.

After everyone left the house we {yes, we} napped and then went to church! I love Saturday night services! Heidi has been doing so well in the nursery and I am so grateful she likes it now.

Sunday Heidi and I went to my sister's to grill out and swim! Heidi had a blast in the pool. This little girl is fearless! I kept having to catch her jumping in - she also loved going under the water!

Monday we had a family day! John was off and so was I so we all got to hang out! We ended up doing some shopping and then grilling out at home! We love having family days :) The neighbors came over and Heidi was able to hang out with the girls for a bit.

Weekend!

I headed to Valdosta for the day for friend from college's wedding. This time it was only a one day round trip all alone. Heidi was dropped off at my parent's house while I went to have a much needed hair cut and then I headed out to Valdosta. John had to work and then he picked up Heidi after work. Before getting to the wedding I met up with a couple of old co-workers - Faith and Shawna. It was really nice to catch up with the two of them. Next I headed to the church for Lindsey's wedding! I think Lindsey and Justin began dating shortly before John and I got married - so they have been waiting awhile for this day to come! It was so nice to see a few of my friends. I really miss Valdosta and the days I spent there. I definitely would not mind moving there at all. I wonder if its just the memories that make me want to live there or if I would enjoy living there now as much as I did before? We still have a ton of friends, but its always the same after moving away....everyone moves on and its always different coming back and getting back into the groove. Take a look at the pictures of my sweet friends :)

Lacey and sweet little Brogen

LJ and Lovett

Lindsey and Sean

LJ

One of my favorite parts of sorority/fraternity weddings :)

Stroble!

 Sweet friends

Brooke - due with little Hayes in August

Old VSU Cheerleading buddies :)

My favorite Davis sisters!

Lindsey (due in a couple months) and Brittany

I also stopped and took a few pictures at my old college campus - it is such a beautiful place!

Let's Get Physical!

So, I made it for a third beating session with my slave driver personal trainer. Seriously, I don't know why it is so much harder when working out with a trainer. I feel like I do the same amount of work when I am alone, but geeze louise I feel like I look like I have never worked out a day in my life when I am with the trainer. I am huffing and puffing and definitely not blowing the house down because I am oxygen starved. I would post a video of these workouts, but I am not ready for you to see (a) me so incredibly out of shape or (b) the awful faces I know I have to be making. At one point I told my trainer not to be offended at my grimaces or rolling of eyes - neither were to be directed towards her. They were being directed towards me and my inner voice that keeps telling me to quit while I can still stand. In reality I do not think I was really ever actually rolling my eyes - I think I was mentally though....maybe.
This week we did not get to go into a private room where I could hide my humiliation, nope, we were right in the middle of the pack. I was using the bench as a step thing and trying to do my best to keep my butt out when lifting my leg when all I am trained to do it step up and tuck everything in {from cheerleading}. Then again - when you have a rear-end that is my size even when it is tucked it looks like its poking out :) So here I am choking on air gasping for breath in front of all these guys lifting 1,000s of pounds like they are feathers and I can barely lunge with a 5-lbs weight. Then, I thought to myself, they are not looking at me - they are too busy staring at themselves in the mirror! I guess since I was trying so hard to avoid looking at myself in the mirror I assumed everyone was doing the same.

One note - I did not feel like I was going to throw up this time - yay! Friday Holly {my gym rat partner} and I are going to attempt the TRX class. I will try and post some sort of video or picture so you can see what we are attempting :) It should be interesting.

So far no real change in the number of my weight, but I can see a difference in certain areas. I have heard it takes awhile because you build the muscle before you lose the fat - so I will keep on trucking until I am where I want to be! The eating habits are going great - still maintaining the healthful eating! I will, however, neither deny or confirm the consumption of a pan of brownies in a three day period. The said brownies might have contained peanut butter chips as well. Maybe, I would not know....or would I?

Earthquake?

No, do not be alarmed, it was not an earthquake you felt. It was me - trying to reverse crutches {a.k.a butt lifts}. First I could not even lift my butt off the ground then I was able to do it by swinging my feet ever so slightly and letting momentum help me out. The BOOM was when my fanny would hit the ground and jiggle about. Oh my - this is so embarrassing and humiliating. Humbling even. I cannot believe I have let myself get to this point. All the years I could run a 5K without even thinking of training or do sit-ups etc without getting out of breath or feeling sore for days after. UGH.
Yesterday I went to the gym and worked out with someone who could help me. Yes, I am using a personal trainer for the moment. Someone to help get me in the right direction {kick my butt} in getting my body back. This whole out of shape thing is so new to me and I now I know what its like to feel so incredibly intimated at the gym. All these in-shape muscle bound people and me - with my little spare tire around my waist trying to remain unseen.

John and I have completely overhauled our food intake. Skipping out on the frozen processed meals, fast food, and other junk. I make weekly trips to the Farmer's Market and we shop for other produce weekly as well. I have jumped back and forth trying to live this lifestyle, but its so much easier with John on board to help and for us to both be making a change for the better. The next 2 months are going to be brutal for me. Going to the gym once to twice a day in order to get back into shape and lose the fat while building muscle. I know some might look at me and not see what I see, but what I see is enough. The fat has been given and eviction notice and it has two months to find a new home.

Earlier this week I had my assessment to see where I am currently at in my fitness. The trainer did not think it was terrible. I had to explain to her that this point where I am is my lowest of lows. At our first workout session we started outside running, sprinting, jumping, living in hell, stuff like that, ya know? When it was time to go back inside I told her we needed to hang outside a little bit longer because I would rather throw up outside instead of inside. I will neither confirm nor deny the throw-up.

Since the beginning of this post {which I started about 2 weeks ago} I have had another session and it was better. During this session I had to do a lot of planks {push-up position} and I swear my I pulled an ovary out of place. Tomorrow is session number 3 and I am actually looking forward to it.

John gave me my Mother's Day present a week early because it was something I could start using right away. Yes world, I am joining the "i" world and now own an iPod nano. My playlist is amazing - all the greats from the late '90's and early '00's. Don't be jealous :) The only issue I have found is that having the dancing background I have it forces me to move to the beat of whatever music I hear....sooo....imagine going from Cyndi Lauper "True Colors" to "Flashdance".

CMK

Cindy will always be CMK to me - even if she is an old married woman :) Heidi and I went to Cindy's baby shower a couple of weeks ago and today I went to visit 3 day old baby Ryder! His middle name is John - after my sweet hubby of course - ha!

Beach Day

I took a day off from work and we all headed to Hilton Head for the day. The past few years John's uncle & aunt that live in England take a little week trip to Hilton Head. Everyone played golf while John's mom, Heidi and I stayed back. Heidi and I headed straight for the beach! We saw little crabs and Heidi had such a fun time! Our trip was loaded with fun beach toys and our chairs - and maybe a few snacks :) After being at the beach for a few hours we headed inside and took a nap. First Heidi rinsed off in the bathtub - getting all the sand off. Heidi only napped for about an hour and she then woke and we waited for the golfers to finish up so we could eat dinner! We went to the Salty Dog for dinner and then headed home! Heidi had a great time with everyone and especially loved the beach!

Heidi and her Great-Uncle Bruce

Nana

Group Pic!

Consultation

Original Post - May 7, 2012

Today John, Heidi, and I met with Dr. Odom to discuss our case. It is so exciting to finally be putting our plans into action. Nervous too. Dr. Odom went over all of our previous test results as well as some tests I had taken a couple of months ago. We all feel like it is a good time to try for another baby. With Heidi still nursing we have been made aware that this could cause an issue with trying to target ovulation dates, but we are okay with that. The main concern is to first get me cycles back on track to a more "normal" length. Right now they are 35-45 days long and they need to be around 28 days. First step is to start our prenatals, ultra-cal night, and metformin. Not all at once of course, but gradually. Within three weeks I will be on all of them full force.

I am relieved that Dr. Odom is allowing us to proceed even though we are still breastfeeding. It is not the norm, but he is going to let us. I have had such an attitude about this being a road block in expanding our family, but now we have busted through it and can move forward.

Soon- soon-soon!

Swim Time!

This weekend we made it a POOL WEEKEND! Heidi absolutely LOVES the water and to swim. She is such a little fish! Our neighborhood had a little pool opening thing and they had hamburgers and hotdogs so off we went to join in the fun! The first thing we came across was a little bounce house and Heidi just had to go in "the house".

Next we ate our picnic - we opted to sit on the pool towel in the grass because our other option was metal chairs on the asphalt. Next we went back to the house and then to the POOL!

 

Both Saturday and Sunday Heidi went to the pool and had a great time. She already has an amazing tan line - and I used SPF 100 on her! Crazy tan little girl! Heidi also has been changing her baby's diaper, taking her to "sit potty" and feeding her at meal time. Already taking such responsibility :)