Project 365 - Day 76

Today was painting day at the dealership! So what was I to do? I tried keeping all the doors and windows open, but eventually I had to resort to this....

I'm thinking of making it a new fashion accessory.

Project 365 - Day 75

One of my lunch buddies :)

Project 365 - Day 74

I have mentioned before about my grandmother and how her condition is becoming worse. She was taken to the hospital when she fell and broke her hip and arm and it has been going downhill from there. While at the hospital she got a couple of bedsores and even though the sores were being treated they still became very infected which means I cannot even go to visit her because I cannot take a chance on anything happening to me right now. In my own mind I have already made peace with my grandmother dying because my grandmother died a long time ago - the grandmother I knew. As her Alzheimer's has progressed the real person she was has long ago disappeared. Right now she is just ready to go - at least I feel that way. I really think she wants to go - she's miserable. This independent always well put together lady is would not like to see herself right now.

We have been going through my grandmother's things - trying to clean her house out and there was only one thing that I wanted from her house. It may seem a little strange, but in my mind it makes sense. My grandmother had a very, let's just say unique, style to her decor. Chicken lamps, squirrels and owls on walls....I could go on. Well, there was one little statue that I would always stare at when at my grandmother's house. It is the first thing that comes to mind when I picture walking into her house. It sat right on top of her tv and now it has made its way into my very own home. I am shocked John let me have it, but I love it! Not just the actual statue itself, but the memories it brings...

Project 365 - Day 73

When we first moved into our house my mom and dad came and added some plants to the bare flower beds. For the past few weeks John and I have slowly been trying to spruce up the flower beds and make everything nice and neat - and pretty of course! Our first amaryllis of the season have bloomed! These things will spread so fast too! It will be something we will have to continually maintain if we want to keep them in a certain order or anything. They are so pretty!

Project 365 - Day 72

The top picture is what it looks like when you go to the bathroom - we (or I) get to go by flashlight because the electricity is turned off during renovations. Kind of scary huh?? The bottom picture is with the flash because I wanted you to see the romantic side of it all...

Project 365 - Day 71

This isn't a picture I took today, but it is one I wanted to share from the weekend I was in Atlanta. My mom and niece slept in the bed together while we were visiting. Poor Olivia has terrible nightmares and she likes to be in the bed with her parents. Luckily Grandma was here so Tres and Tina got a break for a few nights! As I was creeping by the room I wanted to snap a sweet picture of them sleeping together. Apparently my flash woke my mom up...oh and my mom wears this little breathing machine thing to help her breathe at night - that's why it looks like she has an elephant tusk.

Project 365 - Day 70

All kinds of healthy snacks for me and BG! (apple, crackers, peanuts, & grapes)

Project 365 - Day 69

Today was Hunter's 8th birthday! We took him over to my sister's house for a cookout (which we told him it was his birthday celebration) and he had such a great time jumping in the pool!! Tomorrow will be a different story when he won't be able to walk around because of being sore.

Project 365 - Day 68

I work with all men so I enjoy having my lunch time with my girl friends :) A regular place we venture to (with one of the groups I join) is The Upper Crust. We go and visit our favorite waitress Erika and have such a wonderful time. Coincidentally I worked at this restaurant when I was in high school.

Project 365 - Day 67

John and I have been working diligently in our yard trying to "spring it up". We have taken out pine straw, added flowers, mulch, and borders. There are three different sections in the front yard to work on and we have finished two....the biggest one is left! This particular section I was apparently feeling like I needed to get it done because I went and bought the flowers, pulled out the pine straw, and planted the flowers. Over the weekend John added the mulch and the borders! Great team work!

Project 365 - Day 66

John made a little list of projects to complete in the next few days/weeks. On his list he is tackling painting our bathroom. As you may recall he painted the guest room awhile back - the ahem, wrong color. So, when I left I was a little worried history might repeat itself. Later in the afternoon I received a call from John and he was not a happy camper with his painting experience or work. I was no longer nervous about the color being right, but about our walls being in one piece....

The walls were in one piece and really the painting looked great! Apparently it dried better than he expected. Tonight I found his "list" and started laughing so hard it brought on a contraction.

30 Weeks

How Far Along?: 30 weeks

Total Weight Gain?: 19 lbs (no weight gain at my last appointment!!)

Maternity Clothes?: Yes for much needed comfort. I still wear a few non-maternity shirts, but pretty much all my clothes are maternity - thanks to friends and family for donating!

Sleep?: Pretty much sleeping, except when I have the potty breaks...

Best Moment this Month?: Hmm....Bon Jovi!! BG's baby shower :); getting past the 30 week mark...

Movement?: Yes! She is like a little alien in there! I have come to believe that BG is my little reassuring child....I tell her she needs to move a little for me and she does :)

Body Changes/Labor Signs?: Contractions here and there

Belly Button in/out?: it changes - it moves around when she does as well

What I Miss: being able to demonstrate dance moves without looking like a munchkin from the Wizard of Oz...

What I am Looking Forward to: BG being here! Maternity pictures this week; shopping for a pediatrician the next 2 weeks; a friend's baby shower; and a wedding! A busy next two weeks!!

Next appointment in 2 weeks where I will have a non-stress test, ultrasound - all that good stuff. I am very excited about seeing BG on ultrasound again! Heartbeat was good - 145, no swelling, blood pressure was low (98/60). Dr. Helmken felt a little foot when she was measuring my uterus :) Now if the next 2 weeks will just fly by I will be happy!

Made It

So today is the mark, around this time, at the same point in the pregnancy I am currently that I ran to the hospital with the intuition something was wrong with Hudson. I have made it to the mark that has scared (still scares!) me to death. Nevertheless I am still filled with the worries of an expectant parent while I sit as a incubator for BG. Luckily BG has been moving around like crazy the past few days and it gives me a very nice reassurance that everything is going to be okay. Tomorrow we have our 30 week appointment, one I never imagined getting to again, and hopefully we'll be having an ultrasound. I am still on the fence about being induced because I really feel like I will go on my own early anyways. I do think having an ultrasound would help me see exactly where I am at and what we can do from here on out.

Project 365 - Day 65

While I was away from work for the weekend I left Barbie in charge....somehow she ended up upside down and pants less. Maybe she never had any pants on in the first place. At this point I cannot remember.

Project 365 - Day 64

Sometimes saying goodbye is hard to do :(

After I snapped this photo I was told never to take another picture again - and to leave and never come back. Oh to be an almost 4 year old again...

BG's Shower Pictures

I'd like to share my Snapfish photos with you. Once you have checked out my photos you can order prints and upload your own photos to share.
Click here to view photos

BG's Shower & Girl's Weekend

This weekend in Atlanta my friends and family attended and hosted a shower for BG! I don't think I have ever mentioned it, but I suffer from "shower anxiety". Especially a baby shower at this point in my life. I become extremely nervous during showers because I want to make sure I am spending enough time with everyone equally. I also have a nervousness in making out a shower invite list because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by not inviting (which its hard to remember who lives where and near where) or inviting someone that thinks "why on earth would they invite me?". Anyways, there was a lot of anxiety with the approaching shower.

My pregnancy timeline is about the same as where I was with Hudson when we were to have his baby shower in Atlanta. As you all know we did not have a shower because we were having a funeral. Kind of sets a different tone when thinking about having a shower for your second baby, right? I took my doppler with me just so I would be prepared. Things going through my head were thoughts like "what do I do with all of this stuff if I suddenly do not need it?". Those aren't the normal thoughts of an expectant mother, right? We all know by now that I am not the average pregnant woman :)

Freddie (37); Christine (34) Me (30)

2 of the Hostess - Mrs. Sherry & Kara

The other hostess - Katie

The shower was better than a dream! I was surrounded by family and friends - all of whom have been there in my life when times were both good and bad. These are ladies that were there when John and I got married, they were there when Hudson died, and they are still here for me today as I prepare for our first daughter. I really cannot tell you enough how blessed John and I are - it still amazes us. I cannot thank Katie, Kara, and Ms. Sherry for hosting the most beautiful shower and for all of our friends and family that attended. (Pictures from the event on are on a separate post...)

BG's Grandmothers

BG's Aunts

The entire weekend was just perfect. It started out with Bon Jovi! On Friday my mom, sister, and I went shopping where we found a perfect little trunk to use as BG's toy chest! We also had pedicures - Vicki's treat - and then had dinner back at Tres'. Saturday was shower day and then later I took a nap at home. We went to eat at a Japanese steak house; the same one we celebrates Tres' 40th birthday at in '08. Sunday we went to church and then packed up to head home. Olivia told me to never come back again as I snapped pictures of her tantrum :) Of course she didn't mean it - I am her favorite aunt!

Bon Jovi!!

This is it - the moment I have been waiting for....BON JOVI in concert! John, my wonderful husband, bought me a few tickets for Christmas to see Bon Jovi. I love him - both Bon Jovi and my husband :) I asked my sister Vicki and my sister-in-law Tina to go on this fantastic adventure with me and we had a phenomenal time.

A funny little side note. My sister was supposed to see Bon Jovi in concert about 20 years ago (when I was a mere 8 years old), but the person who was supposed to get the tickets was not able. Vicki mourned in her room (which at the time she was going through the "dark" phase where curtains, bedspread, sheets - everything was black) for what seemed like 3 days. Crying her little heart out because she couldn't see the Jon Bon Jovi singing sensation. It is a funny memory I have of her.

My mom, Vicki, and I drove up to Atlanta together and we met up with Tina. Mom drove Vicki's car the rest of the way to my brother's house. With sisters in tow we headed to the concert. First we ate dinner - I of course needed to eat. We then headed into the arena where at 8PM one lady already had way too much to drink and was being escorted out of the building. We made it to our seats and the freakiest thing happened. As I climbed to my seat I hear my name called. Our friend Eden was sitting in the row right in front of us! How fun! We have not seen Eden in years - she lives in Atlanta with her husband and step-son, but really, how crazy is that?

We had a great time and I was so excited to finally be at his concert! We learned that some people will never get out of the '80's, Bon Jovi still has groupies with his matching tattoo, Atlanta cops are really nice (even if they do ask if you just swallowed a watermelon), drunk speech therapists will offer their services to your unborn child, you can test out the name you are using for your child on perfect strangers and no one will ever know, and strangers will tell you the secret rubbing paper towels through your hands (because the toilet paper is gone) so that it won't clog a toilet.

Project 365 - Day 63

Out to dinner - Japanese! With the family! My niece Olivia loved her chopsticks - and was pretty good with them as well!!

Project 365 - Day 62

Part of our girls day/weekend - pedicures! Mom wasn't ready for her picture :)

Project 365 - Day 61

So many great pictures to choose from at a Bon Jovi concert night, but I will save those photos for the Bon Jovi blog. During one of the songs, while some band members were taking a break, Jon himself came on stage and sang his version of the Hallelujah song. The next thing you know this couple starts dancing. My sister-in-law Tina says, "there's your 365 picture!" So I snap the shot. The photo quality didn't turn out too well, but I didn't want to see obvious in taking their picture. Later in the concert Bon Jovi sang some of his classic slow songs as Vicki and Tina reminisced about high school dances. I laughed because when they were in high school I was barely in elementary school - ha!

Project 365 - Day 60

He was such a poser this night so I had to post his picture - again :)

Project 365 - Day 59

Does anyone know what this is? I think it might be where the oil goes in a car? Not sure though, but I found this picture on my camera...

Project 365 - Day 58

I was strolling around the dealership today (because I need to walk to maintain the weight, I was tired of sitting at the desk, & because of the fantastic insulin resistance) and look what I found. A delightful 1 lbs bag of pretzels. I should have taken them, scarfed them down, and left them with a few measly little crumbs like whomever ate my triscuits - oh and by the way, someone also ate ALL of my cheese!! The did leave me with an empty wrapper to throw away, nice right? I decided against using "an eye for an eye" mentality and left the pretzels to their rightful owner. Lucky for them I was not hungry at the time.

Speaking of food - I am kind of becoming addicted to the glucose testing monitor. It is a game to me - yes, I am a loser and I like to compete with myself and scores. I like to eat different varieties and "push the limits" in testing my levels. I will tell you that a hard boiled egg, wheat toast, grapes, and a glass of milk will give you a 2 hour fasting score of 83, but a McDonald's double cheeseburger, french fries, sprite, and swiss cake roll will give you a 2 hour fasting score of 129. I went to McDonald's out of desperation one night. Have I mentioned that I used to be a marketing coordinator for McDonald's? Yeah, I was, but I guess its a good thing I no longer work there since their food is not in my best interest. At least plenty of other Americans will help build my stock that I own :)

Thank You

Over the past couple of weeks I have realized what this blog really is "doing". It isn't just a place I go to write my thoughts out or a place to record our family journal - which is why I originally started writing. I really "got into" blogging the more I read from other women who had experienced the loss of a child. It has been a place to go to write - something I love to do. My grammar and proofreading can be atrocious at times, and I write exactly as I speak - including how I jump from one topic to another. I never thought about who would read this blog or if anyone would even be reading - and neither really influenced my decision to have a blog. One major lesson I have learned is that when you experience an event like John and I did, and with it being an event that we could not keep hidden, others want to know how you are handling your experience.

As a Christian you are looked upon differently when times get tough because lets be honest - it is easy to "act Christianly" when you slide through life without any bad experiences or hardships. Its easy to remain positive and upbeat and say that "everything is gonna be alright" when you haven't had to face trials. I was obviously pregnant and my whole grieving process was therefore public knowledge - whether because of being from a small town, facebook, going to a semi-small college, etc.; either way there was no way to escape. So what else could I have done but put my big girl panties on and let others see what was really going on - the good and bad. Doesn't it make it easier to know that there is someone facing the same trials as you? That others have been there? That you can still believe that God is good no matter what is thrown at you? It is even easy to be on this blog and pretend to always have the best attitude no matter what is thrown your way. What good would all of that do? Nothing - absolutely nothing because it would be fake and others would only become discouraged after reading the blog knowing that they were mad and had a hard time "having a Christian attitude" when times were tough.

Why is it that we try to mask our emotions and only let others see the good? Sometimes there just isn't good - sometimes life really kicks you in the butt and it stinks. Then when that happens what good does it do to have a pity party about your troubles? Nothing - there is no good in self wallowing. Letting others see your vulnerability, I have learned, is what helps others triumph over their hard times. You know the saying about being stronger in numbers? I think it comes into play in this situation because knowing there are others struggling in your same area makes you feel better instead of thinking "why does this have to happen to me". You have someone you can relate to go go to for help.

The past few weeks God has continued to shower me with blessings - blessings that come in the form of good friends, great friends, and friends that I have lost regular contact with. The messages I have gotten lately from friends that have been reading my blog have brought me to tears. Partly because I never knew what an impact this blog, my thoughts, my feelings, Hudson...what they have done to have an impact on others. Laying it all out there and having Hudson's death truly have meaning and purpose has come alive because of you; and I thank you for that, for making that dream of mine come true.

Project 365 - Day 57

In honor of the Masters I will post a picture John took while he was at the practice rounds on Tuesday. I hope to be able to go next year and take BG as well! I could not have imagined walking so much in the hot - all day - so I did not go, or could it be that I was not invited to go? I guess it is both :) ha!

Just Coincidences

Okay - so its strange, but things are happening. Things that happened when I was around 28 weeks with Hudson and its making me nervous. BG is moving around just fine and that helps a lot, but everything happening around me is about to make me go crazy. Between 28-30 weeks with Hudson the following happened: 2 friends called their weddings off, I was scheduled to have a baby shower in Atlanta, a friend had a miscarriage (which later I found out 2 friends), and I had tickets (and went) to a comedy event. Within 28 weeks until I reach 30 weeks with BG the following is scheduled to happen: John's cousin has called her wedding off (we found out today), I have a baby shower next weekend in Atlanta, and I have tickets to see Bon Jovi on Thursday. The devil is really playing mind games with me as I approach this emotional milestone and as BG's arrival (healthy and alive arrival) approaches. I just keep telling myself it all coincidences...nothing is going to happen. Everything is fine. Everything is going to be fine.

Project 365 - Day 56

Today is scrapbooking day! I have to have my scrapbook up to date by the coming weekend. Katie, Kara, and Kara's mom are hosting a baby shower for BG and me in Atlanta and I would like to be able to bring the work in progress. I love to scrapbook, but its one of those things I have to be "in the mood" to do. Usually I will work on one book for about 3-4 days straight, then not work for a couple months, then repeat the pattern. It was a lot easier to scrapbook when we were living at my parent's house because my mom has all the tools. I brought a few of her things to my house in an effort to speed up my scrapbooking!

Project 365 - Day 55

Demolition day!

28 weeks (& 2 days) Update

How Far Along: 28 weeks & 2 days

Total Weight Gain: 19 lbs

Maternity Clothes?: Some - the weather has been so nice and little cotton dresses how found themselves on the leader board for what I have been wearing lately.

Sleep?: For the most part. I still wake up routinely; literally I wake up the same time each night to use the restroom. Now I wake up sweating...we need to install a fan in our room and we're in the stage to where its cold in the mornings if we turn the air down at night, but its just too hot at night. A lot also has to do with me and my huge mound of pillows.

Best Moment this Month: Easter egg hunt meltdown...

Movement? Yep! Kicks, flips, jabs, punches galore. The only time I will allow my child to beat me up!

Body Changes/Labor signs? Still just getting bigger! I look like I am carrying a basketball under my shirt at times. Contractions come and go. I am a little nervous my water is going to break while on a walk with Hunter....

Belly Button - In/Out: flat

What I Miss: My memory, wine, and cookies...

What I am looking forward to: Bon Jovi next week!!!! .....and BG being here!

Third trimester here we go! Our appointment went well and I checked out well measuring on track, tightly closed cervix and a little girl that is hanging out very low - hence all the pressure I feel constantly! Judy asked us how we were doing - with the approaching 30 week mark being just around the corner. No swelling, no weight issues - everything checked out just great!

I turned my glucose levels in and heard back from Dr. Odom. I will still need to monitor them, even though they have been phenomenal. The further along I get the more that something could spike so this way we will be keeping track!

Our next appointment is on the 20th - time is really going to fly by now!!

Project 365 - Day 54

All I want to eat!! UGH!!

Project 365 - Day 53

Seriously - it doesn't get any cute than this! Hunter is hands down the more adorable (and spoiled) dog ever...

Project 365 - Day 52

The old PBJ - Peanut Butter & Jelly...an American tradition. Some add lots of PB, others add lots of Jelly - either way its a great sandwich. When I was making this sandwich I started to remember the very first time John made me one. We had just started dating - actually I don't know if we were officially dating at this point or not, anyway, he was making me a sandwich and began with the peanut butter. Next he wiped off the knife. What? I was so confused. He said he didn't want to mix the peanut butter into the jelly jar. I truly had never thought about that...regardless I guess the sandwich was pretty good :)

Project 365 - Day 51

Why is this trashcan so full??

Project 365 - Day 50

Ahh...the coveted golden egg. Did you have one at your egg hunts? Are you a kid that has a melt down about not getting the egg? Are you a 60+ year old man that cherishes the memory of finding the golden egg when you were in 2nd grade?

Last year Hugh had a complete meltdown when Emily found the golden egg - if I could figure out how to upload from our camcorder I would. He came charging at John who had the camera, throwing his basket around...it was hilarious. That's when we heard the story of a lonely little 2nd grader that was ready at the starting line for his egg hunt. He sees his mom kick over a rock; he runs other to her and there it is...the golden egg! That egg was the only egg he found in the egg hunt. That little boy? My dad.

This year both kids were on a mission - find that golden egg. There is a golden egg and a silver egg and if you find one you cannot find the other, but who wants to settle for second? The kids were off - leaving eggs everywhere in search of that precious plastic golden egg. Emily went straight for where she found the prized egg last year. Both kids searched and searched, picking up a measly little candy filled egg here and there while on their search. Then we hear it - the scream of joy, "I found the golden egg!!" Who found it? Hugh did. Emily was fine - then apparently Hubert said something about Hugh getting to find the silver egg and then it happened. The Easter meltdown we are waiting for each year. Emily throws her basket down eggs fly everywhere and she yells, "That's not fair, we have RULES about that!" and runs towards the house screaming "I hate Easter egg hunts!!". John got it all on video once again. I can't wait until these kids start dating...

Anyways - the misunderstanding was made clear and Emily was back to hunting for the less coveted silver egg. She found it nestled in a bird house. The catch this year? Both eggs bared the same prize :) Jokes on them!!

Happy Easter!

He has Risen! He has Risen Indeed!

Thank you Lord for sending your one and only son to die on the cross for us. With you we know that all things are possible - who else could raise from the dead?

Today was a perfect Easter Sunday. John and I woke up and he prepared a delicious breakfast feast! We went to church and then to my sister's house for Easter lunch with the my family that lives here. The kids (Hugh and Emily) had their annual Easter egg hunt....always a little bit of drama with those! After we ate lunch John and I came home to do some yard work. We have started pulling out all of the pine straw, throwing out some of the dirt, adding edges to the garden, replanting some of the bulbs that we dug up, and adding some mulch! We only completed about half of the area. I guess we have another yard work afternoon ahead of us!

Hugh being a ham

The Keller Family

The Henningers

Can you find the egg??

Bunny cake by mommy dearest :)

The SILVER egg!!

Hugh & Emily with their gold & silver eggs