Vacation - Travel Day

Today we were off for a nice week long trip to Inlet Beach, Florida - where we will be bunking with the Conways. Originally we were going to leave sort of early and get to our destination without too many stops, but we heard news that my Great-Uncle Gene was not doing too well, so we planned to make a quick run to Bainbridge on our way. My mom rode with John, Heidi, and I so that she could enjoy a nice week long visit with our family in Panama City. It also works out having her nearby so that John and I can have one "adult night" with Kara and Colin :)

The night before, I gathered up all our crap important things and tried to get everything ready for John to load into the car. Once John got off work we realized we would be leaving things like the jogging stroller and Heidi's mattress behind. No worries for either one. Morning came and Heidi decided she would also get up at 6AM to get ready for our trip. I had definitely counted on her sleeping so that I could get myself ready, but oh well! We left our house around 8AM and headed towards my parent's house to drop off Hunter so that he could hang out with my dad for the week and pick up my mom. We loaded my mom's stuff tied her to the roof and she fit nicely in the backseat with Heidi.

Our next stop was in Valdosta (sorry V-town friends it was just a quick bite to eat at McDonald's) where we ate lunch and Heidi got her milkshake on. I always feel sort of loyal to the McDonald's in Valdosta due to my past marketing history with them. The one we ate at was the one I was working on opening back up after the reconstruction when we had to move away. We got back on the road and the next stop was my Great-Aunt Wilkin's house in Bainbridge. My Grannymom's sisters all live in three little houses all in a row in Bainbridge. Grannymom died 13 years ago, but it is so nice to have these ladies in my life as surrogate grandmothers. We arrived to our destination and met up at Aunt Wilkin's with Aunt Babs, Great-Aunt Sara, and many cousins. Visited there for a bit and then John, Heidi, and I headed up to the hospital (mom stayed and rode back with Aunt Babs since that was who she would be staying with) to visit with Great-Aunt Jeanne and Great-Uncle Gene. I had spoken with my cousin Kathryn and she told me that it would most likely be anytime and there was really nothing that could be done - that everyone was basically trying to make him feel comfortable. After we visited at the hospital we left and tried to stop at my cousin's B&B that she owns - The Commodore, but she was not there at the time.

John and I tried to let Heidi nap in the car, but she really had no part of that. I think she slept for about 45 minutes total for the day. We finally made it to our beach house and Kara and Colin had made it in a few hours ahead of us. We unloaded the car and got a little settled and then we headed out to eat for dinner. It was a sports bar and grill place just down the road. Heidi was all out of sorts but when her food arrived (fried shrimp!!) she sat right down and focused on her food. Right before dinner I talked with my mom and found out my Great-Uncle Gene passed away just a couple of hours after we had left. I was so thankful we were able to go to Bainbridge and visit with everyone. After dinner we headed home, put Heidi in her pjs and then got her to bed - around 8:30. I went downstairs and visited with everyone and then hit the sack myself. It had been such a long day and I had to wake up early the next morning to meet up with my mom. The plan was for us to go boating with Kara's parents and their friends and I thought it would be good for Heidi to stay with my mom for the day.

Beach Vacation!!

We're going to Inlet Beach in a couple of days and these are things I am looking forward to:

• Beach people - you know the native beach person by their tattooed tan and leathery skin, usually long unkempt hair and never wearing a shirt. In fact, I would say 99% of "beach people" are men.
• Crystal clear waters. The Panama City area is my second home. We have family that live there and I remember spending so much time there as a child. I think I went to that beach more than Tybee where I live! I guess I am kind of spoiled to the white sands and clear water.
• FRESH seafood. I know I can get it in Savannah, but I love it here too!
• Taking a shower and not being able to wash the smell of the water and sunscreen off. Weird? Maybe...
• The softness of my skin after the sand and saltwater has exfoliated it.
• Spending some much needed family relaxation time!
• Spending time with the Conways who we have not gotten to hang out with in forever.
• Maybe starting an annual trip! I am always wanting to start traditions....
• Watching Heidi play on the sand and in the water. She is going to love it!
• Maybe scratching something off my bucket list.
• Eating a PBJ that has been in a cooler while laying on the beach.
• Pretty sunrises and sunsets.
• Ocean breeze.
• The beach smells...
• Pictures galore!

Last Night

Usually I remain quiet when it comes to politics and things that are controversial. I am not a very aggressive person and I have a hard time having to defend why I feel certain ways. Call me a coward or a chicken - or even ignorant. Sometimes we believe things because of what we know is right or wrong. Last night I was furious at the comments on facebook. For those of you that are not from Savannah you might not be aware of the execution that was held last night.

In 1989 a police officer, Mark MacPhail, was murdered while intervening an assault that was going on near his work. Troy Davis was arrested for the murder and in 1991 he was sentenced to death. For 20 years so much has been going on with witnesses recounting statements, appeals, etc - all the while Davis has held onto his plea of not guilty. Regardless of the details we may or may not know the sentence remained the same and last night around 11PM Troy Davis became the 52nd person to be executed in the state of Georgia. Over a million people signed a petition for the GA Board of Pardons and Paroles to grant Davis clemency - and it was denied.

So - for those of you who did not know the story - there is a brief summary of the events.

Last night so many were on pins and needles as to whether the execution was going to be held and rants of FREE Troy Davis (you may even remember "Pants on the Ground" man wearing a button during his AI tryout) were either applauded or met with snarky remarks. At some point I think people lost what they were trying to fight for and it became a fight about something else. It no longer became a fight to free a man whom some believed to be innocent, but it turned into the age old issue we seem to have in the south. It became about race. Never can there be an argument when a black and white are involved together that it does not turn into an argument about race. It is sad - really sad. Here we are in 2011 and still we have not evolved in our thinking or evolved in seeing people for more than a skin color.

I won't go into detail about how I feel about the race issue at this point because it probably would not offend people, but I know how words can be used against me and I do not want to be backed into a corner having to defend the way I feel. What I will say is this: the change starts with each one of us. I know there is a mentality of an older generation that will be there until they die. When they die why not let the ignorance of color and race die with them? Why continue to let the cycle bring us down. It can stop with us if we let it and we can win the battle of all equality over mankind. If we keep having the attitude of "it will never change" then you are right, things will never change and we should all be given a swift kick in the gut for letting our attitude get the best of us.

Another piece that set me off in this whole ordeal was the misquoting and misuse of scripture. That and the fact that some of those were in favor of freeing Davis were throwing the "I thought you were Christians" comments at those wanting Davis to be executed. First I would like to comment about the last sentence I wrote. Being a Christian does not make you free from sin nor does it mean you make the right choices. It is about your relationship with Christ and your desire to follow Him. Yes, you are to desire to be like Christ in all ways - through actions, words, and thoughts - and the more you grow in your relationship with Christ the more you change as a person. To be a Christian means to follow Christ, to desire Him, to fellowship with Him, to be indwelt by Him, and to bring glory to Him in your life.

Secondly, so many claim to be Christians when their lives show nothing about Christianity. Sometimes those people can be the most dangerous of all. These people know a verse here and there and try to use them when it fits their need. Last night so many people were reciting verses from the Old Testament to validate their "religion of Christianity" and validate the reason why it was okay to execute Troy Davis. What I believe is that Jesus Christ took the place of the Old Testament laws. HE died for our sins and according to chapter 5 in the book of Matthew we are to turn the other cheek when wrong is done to us. So, those using the "eye for an eye" verses to validate your reasoning should do some more research. When trying to interpret a verse you cannot just read one verse and try to apply it, you must read the verses before and after - and even cross reference - in order to fully understand what a verse means.

I have mixed emotions about the death penalty and sometimes I do not know if I believe in it or not. I do not know how it is decided that one person who murders dies and another person who murders is allowed to live. I do not know if Troy Davis committed murder - none of us know for sure except those that were there. God knows and in reality that is all that matters.

Update

Just wanted to give a quite update from this post on the status of my cousin. He will have another treatment in about a week and currently he is still trying to gain strength from his first treatment. For awhile he had no appetite, but just today he finally requested a meal - yay! Please continue to keep him in your prayers - thank you for the past and future prayers.

Brother

Just wanted to ask for prayers for my brother and the team he is with in Honduras! They are already there and doing tremendous work! Tres and Tina went last year and it was such a wonderful trip for them. Tres was able to go back and I know he was excited to get back. Please click  for their blog - Hillside UMC.

Easy Canvas

For months I have been talking about about purchasing a large canvas for Heidi's first year portrait. Heidi had two sessions within a month (one with our photographer Patti Todd Photography and one with my sister's Betty at Serendipity Photography) because we had her 1 year session and a family (entire) session. It was so hard to choose with picture, but we ended up choosing one from the family session - this session you purchase a CD rather than prints.

A week or so after our photo sessions I was approached by Easy Canvas to blog-review their canvas - what a coincidence, right? It was a perfect opportunity! So, I went to their website to check out the canvases that they had to offer. I had browsed a few other canvas sites, but I really liked how this one had the option for a custom size print as well as a couch that you could "see" your canvas size over the couch for a true comparison on how the end result should appear. I decided upon a 16 x 24 size. In this same section there is also an option for how thick you would like your canvas wrapped - standard or gallery. I chose for the standard. Next you upload your image. You then have three options on how you would like the canvas to be wrapped - your image, a mirror, or a border. I chose to have the image continue on the wrap. Next you have the options for retouching or color retouching - I left mine as is because our photographer already had everything set for us. Then you checkout and you are done! Simple as pie! Check out their site to turn your canvas into pictures!

We have a few other pictures we are adding on the sides, but in true new Kimberly form we have not decided on what we want to do yet. We as in John and myself - not two Kimberlys :)

Show Us Your Life - Scrapbooks

Well, I am about 2 weeks behind in blog reading, but that is okay and I am okay with being behind. I did want to take part in Kelly's "Show Us Your Life" entry for a couple of weeks ago because this is something I have currently been working on. I am a scrapbooker, but unfortunately I am a perfectionist and "my work" is never good enough. It can be expensive to purchase all the little trinckets and things to make your pages flashy and to be honest I have other things I would rather spend my money on. Time is another issue and having a toddle full of fun energy is another reason I have changed my ways in scrapbooking.

I started using Mixbook.com as a digital scrapbook that I will have printed into a book. I am almost finished with Heidi's 1st year {and I am thankful that I blog her monthly things so that I could go back and look at them with writing in her book!} and once I print it out I will let you know how it turned out in print. I am current and up to date with this year, its just a process of working on a past year. I was so inspired with how the scrapbook was looking {and the one I am going to show up is still a work in progress} that I have begun to go back to other years and redo a few things digitally. I have scanned old wedding invitations, part invites - you sent it I have saved it and now scanned it. Now I can add all the little momentos into a digital scrapbook! When I finish this year I will show you that one as well. Its a work in progress and I only allow myself an hour or two a week to work on it, but once I am caught up it will be so easy to stay on top of!

On a side note - another reason I am excited about the digital scrapbooks is because if there is ever something that happens to a book I will always have a digital copy and I can reorder anytime!

Example of the rough draft/currently in progress book for Heidi's 1st year:

| Learn About Mixbook Photo Books | Create your own Photo Book

Heidi - 15 Months

 Heidi - today you are 15 months!

Things of note for this month:

You fold your hands when its time to say the blessing before our meal. 

You demand to use a fork and to have a napkin. You love to wipe your face!

 Each morning you wake up and demand the "mone" and "mote" - phone & remote.

You love to dance!

 You are wearing a size 4 diaper and 12-18 months clothes.

We have put you into your semi-big girl bed and you are very good at crawling in and out. Now if we could just get you to sleep in it :)

 We can ask you questions and give you choices and you will answer us. Simple questions of course like: "are you done with your bath?" "milk or water?"

 Puzzles are such a favorite. You are so good at them and even though getting the piece to actually fully fit in its place you can put each puzzle piece where it belongs.

 Recently you hate for your diaper to be changed.

You love being outdoors.

 You are like a little collector finding new things to pick up and inspect.

We are still nursing - mainly anytime I am with you, but during the day while I am at work you have 1% milk.

 It sometimes takes you a little while to warm up to people you haven't met or haven't been around in awhile. You become so shy and my usually talkative girl becomes mute. For now I will call it good manners :)

 You absolutely LOVE watermelon - you are still such a wonderful eater. You also really enjoy bell peppers!

 I think you are accustomed to these photo shoots each month because when I pulled out the sticker you grabbed it and tried to put it on your belly. When I sat you in your chair you started saying bear over and over. Then you needed to add a new character to the group - glowworm.

  

ADPi

Lately I have been singing all of my old sorority songs to help Heidi go to sleep. Either she likes them and they lull her to sleep or she sleeps so that she does not have to hear me sing anymore. Regardless its a win-win situation! One of my sorority sisters sent me this cute shirt and Heidi looks adorable in it! I really hope that Heidi wants to join a sorority, even better if its ADPi. It would be so special...

Sophomore year - Bid Day Fall 2001

 Freshman year - Parents Weekend Spring 2001

Heidi - 2011

Life Goes On

No matter what happens in your life - it never stops. Well, unless you are dead of course, but then really if you think about it your "life" still isn't over because we're all going to have life in Heaven. Anyway, time never stops and people continue to go about their mundane daily routine. In the middle, at some point a tragedy happens and you want to freeze time. You want to stop the world around you so that you can have your time to grieve without having to live - without missing life. It is so hard to grieve fully and live your life fully {while enjoying it} at the same time. Sometimes it would be nice to have a grief bubble where we can go have our moment and the world just gives us that chance to grieve without seeing life go on.

Recently I was with some other moms and we were having the normal conversations about motherhood and kids. At some point, at the end of the gathering, one of my dear friends pulled me aside and apologized for perhaps making me feel uncomfortable during the conversation. This friend of mine is really so sweet - she always makes sure to remember Hudson and is so thoughtful. I told her everything was fine - no uncomfortableness. I got home and found a facebook message from her again apologizing. A week later I was finally able to write her back. {right now I cannot find the time to write more than a simple sentence before I must tend to something else}.

Before I sat to write I started thinking about life moving on - how it is ignorant to the fact that your heart is bleeding for time. Wanting so badly to have a moment, just one moment when the world stops and lets you grieve without having to push forward in the motions of continuing living.

When I wrote my friend I told her that she had nothing to apologize for - that she didn't make me uncomfortable. {You might want to know that she has a little boy that was born April 2009, so Hudson and he would have been about 2-4 weeks apart had I gone full term}. Does it sting to hear stories? Yes, of course, but that is natural. It is something I face continuously. Even though part of my life has stopped, the rest of my life {and the rest of the world} is still going. Babies were still being born {um, hello, every week for 4 months a friend/family member would announce they were pregnant right after I lost Hudson - I wanted to stab my eyes with an ice pick}. I would rather hear the stories than hear the silence of people not knowing what to say around me because they do not want to be insensitive. There is definitely a difference of someone telling me what their children are doing versus telling me that I need to have a boy for my second child. In regards to the latter portion of that sentence - I have learned to grin and bare it.

I read an article stating said something about parents that lost a child due to stillbirth or before their year birthday were more likely to die earlier than other parents. Dying of a broken heart. I didn't see the actual numbers, but I can definitely believe it. If I didn't have Heidi I do not think I would be as far along in my grief process as I am today. I think having her gave me the ability to still grieve for Hudson, but Heidi has given me the chance to patch the cracks of the brokenness my heart felt. The broken part has been replaced with love and joy while still letting part of my heart grieve.

Life goes on. We live and we die - and eventually we will all be living again in Heaven.

Melanie's Baby Shower

This weekend we celebrated Baby Dervan :) Melanie is one of my oldest {as in someone I have known a long time} friends and I am so excited for their little girl to be here in October! Not too much longer! I do, however, believe that her mom is even more excited about being a grandmother. She has been hinting for years ever so subtly - ha!