Saturday, December 28, 2013

Fake Perfection

It is a Saturday afternoon and I am actually able to sit down and write. We have been busy little beavers over here lately, whether from traveling, packing, moving, unpacking, Christmas shopping, regular activities - it has been a crazy past few months. Nonetheless I still have been aching to sit a blog. Not just random recaps of the past three months, but real blog posts with substance. I want to be able to document everything going on - each day/week/month, but life has been incredibly busy and sometimes there are things that just have to be put on the back burner.

Not only has life been hectic, but I guess there are days when I think of things in my head to write, but I just don't feel like they are good enough for anyone to want to read. Some days I think I feel like I need to have some eloquent post that people can relate to and others I just want to type with all of my grammar mistakes and let it be. This world puts so much pressure on us these days. Everything needs to be exactly perfect. The past few months I have had three separate conversations with three completely different groups and I can sum it up in a few phrases.

We are afraid of the judgement of others because we judge.
You know you do it. You think people are a certain way because of the way they dress, act, talk, deal with their kids. I'm sure it is possible that you might not even be aware that you are doing it. Maybe it is even coming up with excuses as to why they won't like you. The last sentence is something I struggle with constantly. When I take Heidi to preschool I see all of the little moms gather together and I feel completely left out. My thoughts are more of wondering what is it about me that they don't seem interested in? There is one lady that for the past year and a half it has been my mission to get her to smile at me. I think she has, once. Don't get me wrong, people are nice and I have conversations with them, but it is as if the conversations aren't really that important and I'm not someone they would want to hang out with as friends.

We push the facade of perfection.
Would you like to have unexpected guests to show up at your door - right now? Chances are you answered no because your home is not tidy. I know one thing that bothers me is walking into a completely put together house because it is an internal put down on my own house keeping abilities. I go to homes of busy working moms and their houses are immaculate and then they say what we all say, "oh gosh, please pardon the mess". I'm thinking - there are no dirty dishes, there is not a spec of dirt or dust, and it smells like heaven. Come on over to my house on any given day and there will be a whole wad of messes in every corner and a dog that smells like a dorito. I know we all take pride in how our homes look, I mean it is a reflection of us. Apparently I am a hoarding slob, but I have embraced my inner self that shows through my house keeping. I am working on it and during this move a lot of things will {hopefully} be tossed and organized, but for the most part walking into your clean house just stresses me out. Thinking about it stresses me out - pardon me while I shove another peanut butter blossom cookie in my mouth.

We want to have it all together in ways where we think everyone else has it all together.
Seems strange, right? We all assume that people are judging us so we bust our little hinnies off to show off how "together" we have it. Everyone wants everyone else to think we have it all under control. No one wants to be perceived as a failure. Anything less than perfection is of course, failure. We all compete with each other because if one person and seem to have that perfect look then we strive with all of our might to achieve this non-existent level of perfection. It stresses us out to the point of being completely miserable.

With all of these things that we all do I realized - we do it to each other. Why do we make each other feel miserable and unworthy? I blame it all on social media. Pinterest, blogs, Facebook - full of women who I swear must be robots and never sleep. Maybe there are some women who can do it all. I know I wish I could because in my head it would make life run much smoother. As much as I would love to have a perfect home that is clean and always in order, kids with coordinated outfits, leaving the house with my hair and makeup in perfect order - it is just not going to happen and I am trying to embrace that idea. Maybe if we all embraced it a little more we would not stress ourselves out competing with a lifestyle that I really just do not think is possible. Seriously, there are only so many hours in a day and if you do have all of these things perfect, then what is it that you are giving up to achieve these things? Your own happiness? Church? Sanity? Spill your secrets...

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