Bullying

Today I found out some sad news. A young girl in my hometown took her life yesterday. She was a beautiful freshman in high school who was also an excellent softball player. I never met her, but I know of her family and have many mutual friends with her family. Please say a prayer for her family and friends as they move along in the grief process. I am not sure the reasoning behind why she decided she could no longer stay on this earth, but according to a "In memory" page on facebook it might have to do with bullying. I am not sure. Maybe I am assuming. Lets just say my assumption is correct. I don't get it. I really don't understand why kids are so mean these days. Kids were mean when I was in middle/high school, but I don't think its anything like it is now. I remember a group of guys in school that constantly made fun of others in school - and for what? Because the others were smart? looked different? maybe a little socially awkward? Probably no reason at all besides trying to make themselves seem cool or make themselves feel better or more powerful. I know that a few times I was the brunt of the bullying jokes, but not to the extent of most people. I had crooked teeth, frizzy hair (I still have the frizz), acne (that I thought was horrible), a little socially awkward because of low self confidence and being shy. Looking at my life back then I can break it into 3 groups of friends - those I still keep in regular contact with today, those that I will speak to if I run into them, and those that were never really my friends. The last category would be the people you were "friends" with because you didn't want to be in the "outsiders" group or made fun of because you were a little different. I always made sure to be nice to everyone because I never knew what someone's situation was outside of school or inside of their heart - their struggles. I think it also had to do with my obsession with being likable. Regardless of back then, it is the now that worries me. Day to day living seems to be getting harder and harder. Eight year olds are threatening to kill their teachers, sex in elementary schools, girl fights, so much...its scary. It makes one think about bringing a new life into this world. Something so innocent, pure, and sweet - only to be tainted by sin. I have thought time and time about where I will be sending Heidi to school. At one point I thought that if we needed to send her to a public school I would have to move back to my hometown, but not anymore. I know of only one private school I really will consider sending her to, which is a wonderful Catholic school and then for high school she would attend an all-girl Catholic school. Tonight I have even considered home schooling - which I have never thought I would attempt. It all freaks me out - that somewhere there is a child growing up that might bully my sweet little Heidi. Just a few rambling thoughts for the night...