Heidi's Dedication

Today we had a special ceremony by the lake at our church to dedicate Heidi. The dress Heidi wore was worn by my sister, me, and my 3 nieces on my side of the family - Emily, Olivia, and Georgia. I grew up in a Methodist church and John grew up in a Catholic church, but now we attend Savannah Christian Church. As children John and I were both baptised as infants (I chose to be Baptised "again" in 5th grade). At the church we attend now they have dedication services (they have one in January and one in June for all babies) where parents, church members, and family members promise to raise their children in the church and with God in their lives. When the children are older they may then decide, on their own accord, to be baptised. Our entire immediate family was able to be here for this very special day. It really was perfect. The day was special in itself because exactly one year ago is when we found out we were expecting Heidi - and the day I already promised her to God, sort of like Hannah. Lyle led the ceremony which was extra special as well; he also led Hudson's funeral. John and I are so blessed to be surrounded by a family full of believers. We are so blessed to have been raised in good Christian homes and to never really have the struggle of knowing if God really existed or not. I do not know how we would have made it through the past 21 months had we not been believers in God's plan and His will. It is such an honor to have the opportunity to dedicate Heidi to a world of knowing God. It really is such a responsibility. We are told to put God first in our lives, next our spouse, and then our children. Sometimes it is so hard to put everything in that order. I know I am guilty of letting Heidi consume my every thought and all of my energy. I am still trying to find the balance of life. Putting things in the proper order will lead to a better future for all of us and will help to ensure Heidi has a wonderful relationship with God as well as her family. I guess you have to look at what you do now in how it will effect the "bigger picture" in the long run. (**Pictures of Dedication by Rebecca)

Family saying a prayer over Heidi

Laying hands on Heidi

Heidi's Grandparents

The Kirkland side of the family

The Henninger side of the family

Later in the afternoon we headed to the Seafood Festival. Heidi seemed to enjoy herself until the end when it was time for bed and it started getting dark. She had such a long day! Sunday we went to church and then later had lunch at my mom's house.

Olivia riding the rides

Family at the Seafood Festival

Heidi - 4 months

Heidi - you are now 4 months old! Fall is in the air and you are growing to be such a big girl! You grab anything that is within your reach. Your eyes get so big and your mouth makes this little fish face when you you are staring or concentrating on something that you might want to grab. Your eyes are still blue, which I love!! You are now sleeping in your crib in your very own room and you are fine with it - no problems at all! You are such a deep sleeper, which is very nice since sometimes Hunter likes to bark at the neighbors or cats during the night. Laughing and smiling are two of your favorite things to do. You are such a happy baby. I am still your favorite and that makes me so happy. We are still breastfeeding and you have gotten such a big appetite. I feel like an overworked dairy farm sometimes :) While we were in Gatlinburg for your first big vacation you stood up while holding onto my hands. I didn't help you at all! It was crazy and we could not believe it. Probably a fluke, but yes, you stood up! You are rolling over from your belly to your back and you are always so proud of yourself! You are happiest when you are sitting up or while we are holding you and walking around. It is so cute the way you want to look and observe at everything that is around you.

Morning time is when you are the happiest. I think its because you are sleeping for such a long period of time. You still go to bed between 8 and 9 and then wake up once to feed around 5 and then wake up again around 8. You seem to like going to church and you are really such a good baby throughout the whole service - no fussing or crying or anything! I still do not enjoy working only because I hate being away from you. No other reason. I would rather sit at home with you having a PJ day than do anything else. I bought you a little exersaucer this month at a yard sale and you love it! Right now you are still a little small for it, but we stick a little towel in the front and that helps you fit a little better.

You can fit in some of the 0-3 month clothes, some 3 month, and of course 3-6 month. I love to put you in the little sleepers and pj's with feet. Sometimes your dad and I will take a peak at you during the night and just giggle at you with your little booty in the air. Heidi, you are such a precious blessing to your dad and I - to our entire family. I thank God each and every day that you are here - that you made it here.

Remember...

Each day we take one day out of the year to remind you to "remember" our sweet and precious angels. To some its just one day, but to use its never just one day. We remember and think about our little ones that have left sooner than we wanted each and every day. Maybe some of you think of the day you gave birth to your little one. I know I sit and reflect on the night Hudson was born many times. I also sit and think about other mothers who were giving birth on the same day. How their story was so much different than mine. I was reading through some blogs and found one little girl born still this past June 16th. I think about how much pain that mother was going through on a day when I was having one of my most happiest moments. How strange that we all live in this world and we are all living life, but having so many different things happen at the exact same time. I start to imagine myself during the birth of Heidi as I pushed and whimpered that it was hurting and then heard the most joyous sound to my ears. Then I sit and think about the woman giving birth, maybe at the same exact time, and only hearing the silence. It only reaffirms even more how much of a blessing Heidi is and how much God has blessed our family.

Pumpkin Carving

Dane's Birthday

Tonight we went to Dane's first birthday party! Dane's is the son of one of my closest childhood friends Danielle and her husband Dustin; and Heidi's future husband. Both of them went to Valdosta with John and I. Poor little Dane fell and busted his bottom lip at the end of the night, but I think overall he had such a great time!

Birthday Boy!

The family

Dane's Aunt April and Cousin Maison

#1 Fear

One of my biggest fears while pregnant with Heidi was that I would not be able to love her as much as Hudson or that I would make her try to live up to a little boy that we never got to truly meet. Well, if any of you that are carrying your little rainbow babies have that same fear - fear not. I know that parents always say they love each child as much as the other and I guess that works in my case as well. Heidi is her own person with her own little growing personality. There is not even the slightest comparison of my two children. Maybe in the looks department, but nowhere else. I know that she is not replacing Hudson and never will she, but at this point - right now - I do not even think I could imagine him being here. Of course I do sometimes start wondering what it would be like if he was here, but he's not. Does it still sting when "the whole family" is together and he's not? Absolutely. I guess at some point you can become too distracted to grieve or to imagine - maybe an almost 4 month old can do that to your brain :) If Hudson were still here our experience with Heidi would be completely different. We would not be the newbie parents and we would know what we were doing - for the most part. Everything with Heidi has been such a learning experience. I know that losing Hudson has given her the chance to be more appreciated and loved. As much as I have hurt the past 21 months I have also had the most joy in my life as well.

Project 365 - Day 236

I judge the success of a birthday as to whether or not I can still touch my toes. Its something that the older you become the less people that are able to do it. I figure if I can still do it then I am beating the average. I know, random and you are probably thinking looney farm, right? Just think when I am 60 and can still touch my toes how impressive that will be, much more impressive than 29, right? Today my sister treated me and my mom to lunch at this cute little place downtown called Goose Feathers. You should really check it out. So happy birthday to me and yes, I can still touch my toes!

Resemblance Much?

Project 365 - Day 231

Project 365 - Day 230

...he stayed for breakfast