Project 365 - Day 199

John and I are working on any way to save money - one is such an obvious way. Packing our lunch for work each day. These little sandwich holders from Tupperware are fantastic! Look up my sister-in-law's site and order some if you need any!!

Help!

Copied from my friend Maggie's blog:

Do you know a Soldier deployed to Iraq? Is he from Arizona? Does he have two Golden Labs? If you do, please tell him to call Pinal County Animal Care and Control. His "friend", who was supposed to watch his dogs while he served our great country, turned them over to the pound. This "friend" is refusing to release the Soldiers name, just saying he is deployed to Iraq.

"The dogs are approximately 2-4 years of age, one male, and one female. One dog is named Wyatt and the other is named Storm. If anyone has information about the person that owns Wyatt and Storm, they are asked to contact Rhonda Wagner Kuehn at 406-697-5975. "

Please help and keep this article circulating until we help this brave man fighting for our freedom get his dogs back.

http://www.examiner.com/dogs-in-national/soldier-s-dogs-surrendered-to-az-shelter-public-help-needed-to-facilitate-a-reunion

Project 365 - Day 198

I had to go out to the trashcan for this picture! John went to pick up a few snack items for our Bible study group meeting at our house tonight and he came home with groceries in paper bags. I really cannot recall the last time I saw a paper bag. I do remember there was a time when you were asked "paper or plastic?" and you had a choice. Now its all plastic bags. I wonder if they're bringing the paper back? It also made me remember when people would cover their school books in paper bags. When we were first told to cover our books my mom made me book covers made out of scrap material. I didn't care of course at first, but then all the "cool kids" had their paper book covers and of course I HAD to have the paper as well, but I used my homemade covers. A little nerd like me needed to score some cool points some how! I really just wanted to be able to doodle on my books like everyone else...

Heidi Pictures!

Here are some recent pictures of Heidi! Meanwhile I am trying to catch my Project 365 pictures up as well as the rest of my blog! I never knew how much I would enjoy my new version of "free" time!!

We had her first round of vaccines on the 23rd and she did not seem to have any side effects from them - which was great. She screamed when she got her shots though; boy does she have a set of lungs! I have never heard her scream like that ever before.

Heidi is weighing in at 13lbs and 2ozs and measuring at 23 & 3/4" long. The doctor was very impressed with her muscle tone. When she stood her up Heidi was trying to stand all by herself! She holds her head up like a big girl and is trying to sit up and roll over, but it will still be awhile for that. When we stand her up she wants to stand and when we put her on her tummy she tries to crawl. Heidi is definitely a little scooter!

She smiles and laughs and recognizes our voices We get a little smile when she hears us talk. The doctor gave us a vitamin to start her on - one with Vitamin D and iron. We gave it to her one day and I do not think we'll be giving it to her anymore. She was not herself that day and so fussy - she also had some sticky cough syrup poop...so no more of that. Enjoy the montage of pictures!

Project 365 - Day 197

They like to nap together....

New Schedule of Life

Yes, I am aware the blogs are becoming few and far between. I am still learning to balance my time. I get up in the night with Heidi still, usually about once for a feeding and diaper change. Then its morning time and we have to get ready to go to work and Grandma's house (or if John is home Heidi stays home with him!). Next I am at work for approximately 8 hours and if I have any errands (oil changes, new tires, etc) I have to do it in my lunch time - so not too many lunches out with friends anymore! Next I either come home and hang out with the family or go pick Heidi up from Grandma's. Then its try and cook dinner and put Heidi to bed - by then I am exhausted and its time to straighten out the house and get everything ready to repeat the day all over again. Its my new life and I am loving it. I will say there are moments when I am not loving it. I am no longer able to have much of an outlet right now - as in no longer able to blog much at this moment or have my girls lunches (I forgot to mention - I go to my mom's house for lunch to nurse Heidi when she is there).

Have you ever noticed that everything with children always seems to fall on the mom? I have to worry about where Heidi will be if I need to do anything. I have to make sure there is enough milk pumped and if not, well, then too bad. Kidding, we have some frozen stocked up. John has been a fantastic husband and father. He wakes up with her each morning and plays with her while I take a shower. If she needs a bath he'll give her a bath and dress her; sometimes her clothes are too big, but its one less thing I have to do while I am trying to get myself up for the day. Sometimes I get a little jealous that he is still allowed his outlets right now. I know eventually mine will fall back into schedule - like right now while Heidi is napping. Instead of blogging I should really be doing something productive like continuing to organize the garage or organize her closet. I am sad we missed church, but she needed a nap. I will have to watch it online :) Then, after feeling jealous I feel guilty for being jealous. Its not his fault he can stay up later and play his video game and that I am completely exhausted after a long day. I also wanted this little baby so badly - and it sometimes frustrates me that I can't do something I enjoy without (1) sacrificing time with Heidi that I LOVE (2) feeling guilty that I want to do something just myself (3) feeling jealous that others can do what they want.

Like I said - this will all work itself out and soon I will be back to doing other things I love to do. I truly love being Heidi's mom and everything that comes with the territory. I could not imagine a single day passing without her here. Her sweet smiles, her little laughs, the way she plays...its all worth everything John and I have been through the past year and a half. Sometimes its just frustrating with everything that goes on in my head and not being able to write them to get them out :)

Project 365 - Day 196

We finally got batteries - and then we had to figure out where to put them...the place John is unscrewing is not where they go. They go in the giraffe's butt.

Judge Not

“Judge not, that you be not judged."

Matthew 7:1

Wednesday I went to this fantastic consignment sale. It is held twice a year and this sale was for the fall/winter clothes. Not that Heidi needs anymore clothes, but I did need to pick up a few little sweaters and coats for the one week that it is cold here in south GA. Well, my sister had a ticket to the preview sale because she was consigning a few items, but she was not able to attend, so she gave me her ticket. It was to begin at 6PM and if you had 4 boxes of character band aides you could get in 15 minutes early. I had intended on picking up some band aides after my oil was changed, but the 30 minutes I was told it would take took and almost 2 hours and I was bursting to pump, so I didn't leave work until 5:30. There was no point in getting band aides because leaving now would put me there at 5:45, but buying band aides would take longer - so I opted not to. There was already a long line to get in - and these women had laundry baskets and other baskets to carry their finds in.

So - all the band aid people went in and I was left outside with a couple of other women who did not have time or find band aids. The "non-band aid" group grew larger as we waited outside looking into the windows watching as the other women shopped and filled their enormous baskets. I did not bring a basket - just to let you know :). Back to the two women in front. They were friends and had arrived together. They made me very uncomfortable. There is this thing women do - I have done it and I am sure you have done it before yourself. They look their friend face to face, while blocking their own face, and through clinched teeth and raised eyebrows they say something about someone they see walking up or in the line. Then the friend nonchalantly turns around trying to spot the victim without being noticed only to turn back around in agreement.

Now, I have no idea who these women were talking about or what; I just know it made me feel very uncomfortable - wondering if it was me. I guess having a baby only 2 months ago still wears on the body image self-esteem. Are my jeans still too tight? Do I have milk/spit-up/poop stains? I didn't fix my hair because I could not lift my arms (oh yeah, for over a week I was having these random pains in different parts of my body...that day I could not lift my hairs without hurting), I had been working all day - basically I was looking rough, but wait, that is everyday lately :) I felt sorry for the innocent woman they were talking about and then I realized, how often we all do this same little thing. It made me feel so bad that I could have made someone feel the way I felt right then - so unworthy and very uncomfortable. These women in front of me were not even talking about me and it hurt my feelings. I definitely will think before I perform the same scene.

Project 365 - Day 195

Baby steps for a neurotic mother. Heidi is officially sleeping in her pack-n-play. Still in our room - actually the bed is right next to me :). At least she is getting used to sleeping alone. I do miss her cuddling up next to me at night...

Project 365 - Day 194

Project 365 - Day 193

She probably will not even want to dance.

Project 365 - Day 192

We can't hear our baby, but we can hear someone's baby...

Project 365 - Day 191

If you read this blog and this is your car - you know what you did....RUDE!

(and if not e-mail me and I will remind you!)

Project 365 - Day 190

Our neighbor decided to link onto our fence. They also decided to dig into our grass/yard. It is obvious they are on are grass because they did not sod their side. We really would not have minded too much, but they didn't even ask us. What would you do? In some ways we do not want to start up anything with them, but they have already done other things that have really annoyed us. Things like using an electric saw at midnight and afterwards while I was pregnant and with also a baby in the house, having loud conversations outside our bedroom window, etc...

Harper Turns One!

Heidi attended her very first birthday party today! She and I headed to the big city of Kathleen, GA for Harper's pirate themed 1st birthday! It's hard to believe this little guy is already a year old! While we where there we also got to meet Miss Ansley (Christine & Toby's little girl) for the first time! The three of these munchkins are going to be livelong friends - I can already feel it. Just think how much fun it will be next year when all three of them are running around!

Project 365 - Day 189

Project 365 - Day 188

Project 365 - Day 187

Nap time!!

Day of Hope

He is remembered everyday by many.

I keep him in remembrance by honoring his existance.

Please click here to visit and add to your blog how you remember

- yours or someone else's.

Project 365 - Day 186

SO EXCITED! IT IS OPEN!!

Project 365 - Day 185

We hired new security

Heidi - 2 months

Heidi - you are 2 months old today! Time has flown by and you have been such a busy bee. I think you grown an inch everyday! You smile ALL of the time, well, except when I am trying to take a picture of you smiling :) Soon I will catch that smile on camera!! Right now you are wearing 0-3 months clothes and can no longer squeeze into those newborn onesies. You are still able to wear other newborn outfits though. Sizes are so strange! Sometimes your daddy will put you in 3-6 months onesies. Diapers are at a size 1 and I think you'll be in those for just a little while longer. You still love to eat and I am still trying to figure out how much you need for bottles each day. Sometimes I think I am your security blanket :) You are starting to have regular sleeping and awake patterns. We are attempting to get some sort of a schedule for you, by way of "round about times" you like to eat/sleep. Your grandma is having a fun time watching you during the day and y'all play and play all day!

Each morning mommy takes you to Grandma's and you fall asleep in the car on the way there. You are usually still asleep once you are brought in and then mommy leaves to go to work. At lunchtime you get a special treat and mommy comes to spend some time with you and feed you! Much better than that old bottle! Then, only a little but longer its time for mommy to come back and get you to go home and hang out with Hunter! Sometimes we take walks - sometimes you are fussy during the walks. When you are fussy daddy or I will carry you the rest of the way and you fall right to sleep!

You are still sleeping in the room/bed with me but for good reasons. We are having an issue with the monitors so that is one major reason at the moment. You are such a strong girl! You are holding your head up and you like to "stand" on us when we are holding you. Sometimes when you are angry you flex your legs so hard I feel as if you really are about to stand on your own! You scoot around on your back trying to move around. There are so many noises you are making and you are starting to learn the sound of your voice. Your smiles are what really stick out the most. Sometimes you will just look at something smile so big and crack yourself up! You have started "talking back" to us with coos of excitement! You still love your baths and hate to sleep on your back.

Project 365 - Day 184

I had to get new tires today - these are not safe!!

Project 365 - Day 183

Class Reunion

It came and went - the much anticipated 10-year high school reunion. About a year ago a group of us got together to begin planning this event. At the time I was not expecting baby #2 so it was great to keep my mind occupied. There were 6 of us that met to plan - we even had a fundraiser to help with the costs.

The planning crew!

I don't know if it is just me and my neurotic-anal personality or my obsession with being a planner, but I had always had such high hopes for myself by my 10-year reunion. I guess when you are 18 being 28 seems so old and you think that by then you will have your whole life established and figured out. Some of the things I thought would have happened (at the age of 18 mind you) included finishing college/med school/whatever, getting married, finished with having children, look my best (weight, being tan, etc), and having some huge and impressive career. While I was putting the slide show together I started reflecting on my expectations. I cropped senior pictures that Heather scanned from our yearbook and I began thinking about all these people I have known for more than half of my life. My goals crossed my mind and I began to become depressed and absolutely dread for the weekend to come. I wanted to it come and go and be done with it. The thoughts of "I look horrible"; "I'm fat"; "I'm so pale they will think I am a vampire"; "I haven't even started graduate school yet"; "not finished having all our kids yet"....all of these thoughts kept my attitude down. On a side note - I did think of the fact that my front two teeth are straight and not crossed like in high school.

I thought about the friends I keep in touch with, the ones that were really never my friends, those I didn't know very well, those that had a rough time in high school, and the best friend that told me "I'm not interested in your friendship anymore". It's crazy to think about all of those people. I wondered what those people would have thought about me if they were reflecting over the pictures. Ten years ago I was a completely different person than I am today, but yet some of those people will probably only remember (if they even remember) who I was back then. That is completely fine because I am proud of the peppy-little-emotional-basket-case-cheerleader I was :) At least I have evolved into a peppy-just had a baby-neurotic-mother! Needless to say I started feeling down and it began taking a toll on my self-esteem. Add the fact that I was stressing about Heidi and her possibly staying at my mom's on Saturday and that added stress did not help with milk production - which made me stress even more...ugh!

So, Friday arrived and my mom said, "how about I stay at your house on Saturday night?" AHHH music to my ears! That made me feel so much better. I started feeling like a selfish mother wanting to have just one night of being "foot loose and fancy free". I started thinking about before Heidi and how much I wanted a child and how so many other women would do anything to be in my situation - and it made me feel guilty that I wanted a night out. I also felt guilty that the stress was not helping the pumping situation and then wondering if I would need to suppliment some formula for the night. That also made me feel selfish. That's the thing about parenthood I am having to learn - that's its ok to think of yourself and do something for yourself.

Friday night we had a little "Meet and Greet" at a local bar in town and Heidi stayed at my parent's house while I went there for a couple of hours. The setting was casual and it was nice to see familiar faces. Erin had also just come into town so you know we will have a great time together :) I left phase 1 of the reunion and went to pick up Heidi to head home. Saturday came and I had a lot of running around to do. I had to do payroll up at work, then take Heidi to my parents before they left for church, pick up a projector, decorate at the venue, and get ready. Everything went well except the getting ready part. I put on my dress (borrowed from my sister) and WHOA - Pamela Anderson entered the room. I was hanging out - bad. Now, I am sure some people would be more than happy to "flaunt their goods", but not me. I was panicking. I had nothing else that I deemed suitable for this event. Nothing. Erin was my saving grace at this moment. She offered to switch dresses with me - and it worked! Everything was much better. Then it began pouring so I put a plastic bag on my head and we left.

Once we got in to finish a few last minute details with the rest of the planning crew I finally was able to relax. I do owe a big thanks to facebook because people know what's going on and you don't have to do so much small talk. One of my friends (one of those that I have lost touch with) came towards the very end (he had not RSVPd - so it was surprising) and we were talking about different things and he had mentioned another guy in our class did not come because he and his wife and baby live at home with his parents. I told the friend - that is dumb, who cares, its just a fun time to hang out and see people you once saw everyday. Did that just come out of my mouth? Wow, shouldn't I listen to my own advice? For a week I was being so hard on myself and I was so down - and here there are so many others that are embarrassed of where they are with their lives ten years down the road. I started thinking - why? Why not just be happy with all that has taken place. Why do we feel the need to be impressive with what's going on in our lives? Everyday mundane things can be impressive to other people. The fact that I have this blog is what some people enjoyed talking about - which made me feel so good!

Holly the "reunion crasher"

Josh singing "Kiss" by Prince....he was in the running for "Most Shy" our senior year!

The weekend turned out to be a blast. John and I had so much fun. I got to be reunited with Erin, Johanna, Freddie, Melissa, CMK, Ashley and all of those out there that I could not have gotten through high school without. I got to compare breastfeeding stories and talk with another new mom (they had a little baby 2 weeks after Heidi was born) about how badly our boobs hurt from not being able to nurse or pump. It was a great "1st mommies night out". My mom stayed at our house to watch Heidi and that was much easier than having her stay away for the night. I really do not think I will be ready for that for awhile - and my parents only live 20 minutes away from me! Sunday we had a little family picnic and the rain stopped most everyone from coming, but a good number still came. Its so fun to see everyone's new families :) I guess my ending advice (take it or leave it) is that be proud of where you are right now in life. Don't think that just because you aren't where you thought you would be does not mean you should be embarrassed about it. Life gets in the way of having too many plans - and God laughs at you when you make your plans :)