Friday, August 7, 2009

Walking With You

This week, we are sharing about the effect our loss(es) had on our children. If you did not have children at the time of your loss, we are also sharing about subsequent pregnancies (after the loss). If you have not had a pregnancy following the loss, yet, you may share your feelings about facing your next pregnancy.

I fall under the "facing your next pregnancy" column. Currently John and I are seeing a fertility doctor. I do not like to refer to our new doctor as that, but that is what he is called. We are seeing him to find out answers of why this could of happened and what we can do to prevent this from happening the next times. I already know that I will be a basket-case during our next pregnancy. I already had so much anxiety with Hudson because it was a new experience and I couldn't relate to anyone because pregnancy is so different for each woman. Now that I have experienced my greatest fear I am no longer afraid. I know that John and I can face whatever comes our way through this experience and we will face what happens in the future.
Am I looking forward to being pregnant again? Absolutely - I can not wait, but I am waiting. I am waiting to find out why my body did what it did and I am waiting for God's timing. Last time we waited for God's timing to be pregnant and I know that it will happen again. We have been so blessed by Hudson and we, as well as so many others, have changed by knowing him. I do know that I will probably go to the doctor weekly while pregnant, request more ultrasounds, and things like that, but I know they will be nurturing to my needs. I will probably also rent one of those heart monitors - I have heard that women like me can rent them for free somewhere.

I also know that I will be able to enjoy my pregnancy more than anyone else I know; having experienced losing Hudson. I will be able to cherish the memories and precious moments to a higher level. Of course I do will many of the same things - monthly e-mails and belly pictures to friends and family, maternity pictures, and have the scrapbook set and ready to go! It will be a fun time - when it's meant to happen.


Danielle Holsapple said...

I found your blog from Kelly's. I am sure that waiting for another pregnancy is very difficult. And I totally understand how you will feel so much more appreciative with your next pregnancy. I think I will as well! (HUGS) and blessings - Danielle

Paige said...

I didn't get mine for free, but I did rent a fetal heart monitor and home blood pressure thing. It has been WONDERFUL to ease my mind. I can say that this pregnancy has been full of emotion- like you we know all too well now all the things that could go wrong- but I have still been very excited and so thankful for EVERY moment we have had so far with this baby girl. I pray several times daily for PEACE. Also, our doctor gave us his cell number so we could call/text any time with questions or concerns. A big plus! Praying that God will send another precious miracle your way, in His timing, and when He knows your hearts are ready!

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart about waiting for the next pregnancy. We do cherish every moment we are given after losing our children, don't we? I remember feeling that with both my pregnancies after our first loss. I will be praying for both of you as you take these next steps...

I read about the monitor you wrote sounds wonderful. I think I read about it here:

I don't know if they would have information about how to get one. But, I'm sure your doctor has that info., too.

Blessings to you, sweet friend...

Jennifer Ross said...

You have great strength and faith. I admire that about you. Yes, you sure do cherish every moment after loosing a precious child.

Love to you,

Holly said...

I think it is good to seek answers. You wouldn't want it to happen again if it could have been prevented. I really hope you will be able to find out what happened, but if not you know that God is in control.

I've definitely heard of sites where you can rent dopplers. I've thought about doing that myself. :)

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