The past few weeks I have been going to numerous doctors. I have been going to various ones for different reasons. Originally (back in February or March) I was determined that I was going to find that I had a terminal disease and that is why Hudson died. Don't worry I no longer think that - now that I have been checked out! Anyways, I have always been a hypocondriac - I feel a pain in my hip and I assume it's the disease where my joint is being eaten away. I take a pain to the next level always assuming the worst. I think I do that to prepare myself for the worst possible situation.
For the past 2 and a 1/2 years I have had this horrible pain in my lower back. I know exactly how I hurt it - it was during a flag football game; I was pulling a flag and twisted something in my lower back. Two weeks ago I was in horrible pain - I could not bend over and my hip was killing me. I was hurting so bad that I started taking Viccodin - which is a huge deal because I never take any medicine. I don't even take aspirin or Tylenol. Anyways, I finally went to see a chiropractor. I probably would have gone before, but my insurance through the bank did not cover chiropractic services - luckily we are now under John's insurance and they do!
I went to have my consult and of course I think they are going to find something, some tumor of some sort and I only have a few months to live. Well, good news! No tumor, but my back needs some adjusting. My lower back is twisted (If you did not know - your spine is the interstate for the nerves and if your spine is not straight there is pressure on the nerves therefore your organs are not being given the right signals from your brain and vice versa. SOO...you are not at 100% health if your spine is off. Oh and on a second thought - the lumber are connected to your reproductive organs...) and cocked a little. My neck is phase II and apparently I stick my head out. Phase II means that instead of bending back like it is supposed to, it is straight up - almost forward even. I need to have it moved about 35mm - which is a lot. The past 2 weeks I have been going for regular adjustments and you know what? My lower back has not been having problems and I have been sleeping so much better. I know that my back has not been fixed overnight and I still have 85 more visits/adjustments, but it does feel better!
Ok - the second doctor is a dermatologist. Initially I went to the dermatologist because while I was pregnant I had this mole that started itching. The mole was on my chest - on the side. I was not sure if it was from the growing/stretching or if something was wrong. Naturally I assumed I had skin cancer - they took my mole and nope, everything was normal. Today I had to go back for a 6 month check up and once again one little mole did not make it out. I promise I wear sunscreen!
Third doctor - this is a big one. John and I have started seeing a fertility doctor. No, we're not trying to get pregnant; we're going to try and find some answers. I had my initial appointment 2 weeks ago where I went alone and met with the nurse to go over an extensive history of me, my family, John, and his family. This past Tuesday John and I both had to go to the appointment and it lasted about 2 and a 1/2 hours. First I had a physical and all that wonderful girl stuff. Next John and I went into the doctor's office (literally his office where his desk sits) and we went over what he found and what he thinks might be why everything happened. He began with my history and going over a few things with me and also by going over Hudson, the placenta, and cord. The first thing he found was that my placenta was too thick - it was growing too fast and pretty much it was too big. Next he talked about the cord. Instead of being in the center (like a mushroom) of the placenta it was more towards the side. This told him that there was not a proper blood flow. Now, these are all preliminary findings - he is sending the slides off to a pathologist, but from what he can see so far is what he was explaining.
The moment he started talking about the placenta and how something was wrong with it I began to tear up and then cry. I was not upset talking about the "unfortunate event", but I felt relieved. Why, might you ask? The past 6 (almost 7 months) I have felt nothing short of guilt. Everyday I would ask myself what I did wrong during my pregnancy. I would back track and replay those 30 weeks and try to search somewhere for something that I did wrong. Constantly searching for an answer knowing that it was me that somehow caused this, that I made Hudson die. So yes, it was such a relief to hear that I had something wrong with me and Hudson's death was not due to a choice or decision I made. We also discussed my irregular cycles deeming that I have an ovulation disorder. I recently went 52 days in between cycles - and that is not uncommon for me. I have never been on birth control which some girls go on to help regulate that, but instead just went with the flow - go to speak, gross I know. Anyways, I learned that the later you ovulate correlates with a higher miscarriage and loss rate. That is not to say that if you ovulate late you will have either of those, just that it is more frequent than those that ovulate on a typical day 14.
From the ultrasounds they performed that day we also discovered you could see my blood vessels in my ovaries - which means my blood is too thick. Then we also found some "bright spots" within the ovary which may mean I have some sort of electrical problem - side effects being irregularity, headaches, and something else I can't remember. I have the irregularity, but my mom has horrific headaches - that is where genetics fall into place. I am sure that I have some of the terminology wrong and some of the details are fuzzy, but you get the main idea. Our next step is/was a series of tests. John and I had to go to the lab for some blood work and then I have to go back for another test and then they are also going to do a biopsy on part of my endometrian wall - I think that's what they want to biopsy. I also have to have an ecocardiogram due to my past heart murmur/mitralvalveprolapse; that is next week. Monday I go back for another test as well.
So that is me in a nut shell the past few weeks - happy to be broken because it frees my guilt. It also prepares me for the future - if I have a daughter I will make sure she is tested for all of these things before getting pregnant. Unfortunately for me the women in my family all had endemetriosus and had healthy pregnancies. I didn't have that and, well, we all know my story by now.
10 hours ago