Saturday, January 17, 2009

Our Son

Our son, Hudson Greer, was born January 16th at 10:54PM at St. Joseph's/Candler Hospital in Savannah, Georgia. He was 3lbs. 2.1ozs. and 15in. long. He is the most beautiful baby we have ever laid our eyes on - every ounce of him was perfection. We know he was too perfect for this earth and God needed an angel by his side. We are grieving for our loss, but rejoicing for God's gain. There was more love for our little angel that we carried for 29 weeks and 6 days then we can imagine. Although we do not have the answers to our "why" questions, we know that there is a purpose in this strange circle of life. Each of you know that John and I have a strong faith in God and know that all things are His will and "everything happens for a reason". With our faith in God, our strength in each other, and the support from our AMAZING friends and family we know that our grief will pass and we will be able to look back on this event with love and fond memories that we had while Hudson was growing inside of us. Our hearts will love him forever and we will never forget his face or his sweet smell. We will be holding a private ceremony for our Hudson on Thursday and we ask that you all think of us and say a prayer for strength as we bury our first born son. In lieu of flowers we are asking for donations in honor of Hudson Greer to the March of Dimes.
John and I want to thank all of our friends and family for all of the love and support we have been given - with words, calls, flowers, food and their presence. We have not, at this point, returned phone calls or messages and for that we apologize, but we need our time for the healing to begin. It is still hard to talk about, but we know eventually we will be able to tell Hudson's story without any tears. For those that have not heard the full story this is a summary of the events from the past few days. Starting last Thursday I felt something was wrong with our baby - from a lack of fetal movement. I went to the doctor and sat on a fetal monitor for 20 minutes and felt him moving and everything seemed fine.
Still for a week I had an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach and heart - mother's intuition must have come early for me. This Thursday (Jan. 15th) I went to the doctor once again to check everything out. I was put on the fetal monitor again and they had a hard time with keeping the heart beat steady - they thought he was moving around too much. Next I was taken to a room to try and hear him on the doppler and we were not able to hear anything. I was then taken to the ultra-sound room where I saw our little one and then heard the words I will never forget, "Beverly (the nurse), I'm sorry, but I cannot find the heartbeat". Of course I knew it in the back of my mind, but to actually hear the words was a completely different feeling. I called John at work and he came to the office immediately. Next we had to make a decision whether or not to have a c-section or to have a regular delivery. We decided on a regular delivery which is the hardest to do emotionally, but in order for less complications for future pregnancies and deliveries we knew this would be the smartest (and hardest) route to take.
Thursday afternoon I was given medicine to start the opening of my cervix and then we were to come in again at 8AM on Friday. We went in and then were given the next dose with instructions to come in again between 8PM and 9PM for the next dose and we would also be admitted the following day (Saturday) for the delivery. Around 5PM on Friday I began having contractions that became more frequent and more painful. I wanted to try and wait it out, but my sister called the doctor and read out the times John had been writing down and we were told to come in immediately. We got to the hospital at 8:30PM and then gave birth at 10:54PM.
This was the hardest experience for John and I - if you could imagine giving birth and after the birth a silent room; no tears from our baby born. After the rest of the procedure John and I spent some time with our son holding him and crying. He has John's feet, a mixture of our lips, my nose, and a head full of hair. He was beautiful and perfect. The doctor said there was nothing he could see from the baby, the cord, or the placenta that caused any of this. The next morning (we stayed in the hospital that night) they took about 8-9 tubes of blood from me to run tests to see if something happened in my body. We have elected not to have an autopsy on Hudson, but are letting him rest instead. John and I came home last night and of course will be taking some time for ourselves and to start our emotional healing process.
We love each of you and hope that you will all continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers and understand why we have not thanked or called you each personally. We love you all and thank you all from the bottom of our hearts for helping us to get through this moment in our lives.
We love you all.Love, John and Kimberly


Anonymous said...

O my goodness. I am the girl from Gulfport and I just read this post. The exact same thing happended to me almost 12 years ago with my only son. I now have 3 beautiful girls and I will continue to pray for you and John,

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

Sweet heart just aches as I read about Hudson's birth...about saying hello and goodbye all at the same time. I know you have endured seasons of sorrow and Angie Smith so eloquently writes of the sacred dance of grief and joy. You are familiar with that dance my friend. Life is full of the weeping and the rejoicing...and sometimes a mixture of both.

I am finally featuring you and Hudson on Walking With You this week. I will link to this look for comments here. Traffic has been a little down on my blog, so not sure how many will stop by. But, hopefully a few.

Love and Prayers for you,

Kim @ Peace of my Heart said...

Those "why" questions are so hard. I'm sorry for the loss of your sweet Hudson.

The Writer Chic said...

Hugs, always. Even after your rainbow baby arrives, we need to actively love and remember our little ones gone too soon.

croleyc69 said...

I'm so sorry that you and John had to walk that road. Last nite my husband and I were talking about our children. I know in my mind we both will always wonder but at the same time God is in control.
Today as I watch our little rainbow and be happy my heart still hurts for the others.


crystal theresa said...

I'm here from Walking with You, adn wanted to say that I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to your sweet Hudson. I could feel your heartache and immense love for your son in your words. Thank you for sharing his story. I pray that the holidays and time leading up to his birthday are filled with sweet memories and God's peace to help ease the aching.

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