Saturday, December 5, 2009

Research

The more research I do on non-septated cystic hygromas the better I feel. I have already felt confident in knowing that this fluid is going to dissolve on its own, but I still wanted to know more about what we could be looking at possibly. In order to be prepared emotionally I need to know everything and be prepared for all that is possible. I have found studies that show 98% of non-septated cystic hygromas go away on their own without and complications! Isn't that wonderful?

After reading all of the information I kept thinking about something the specialist said to me. He said that some people would have already elected to terminate their pregnancies if something like this was found. What? Why? I was stunned. Terminating a pregnancy never even popped into my mind. Well, it did when I was preparing myself for questions I could possibly be asked in the "worst case scenario" event - had it happened. My firm answer,no matter how bad the diagnosis, would have been no - I would never terminate. I couldn't. I would feel guilty for the rest of my life. How could I take this healthy* baby's life away without even giving it a chance? How could I not even give God the chance to work His miracle? How could I play God?

The whole conversation keeps playing in my head - what the doctor said. I read blogs of women that carry their children knowing that they have been given an incompatible with life diagnosis. These women should be admired for their strength and faithfulness. They knew in the end there might be a chance they would see their living baby and those 2 minutes, 16 minutes, 7 hours that they were able to spend with their babies were more cherished than anything. I know I would have given anything to see the rise and fall of Hudson's little chest.

John and I were talking about the upcoming appointments and I told him I do not feel comfortable with having the amnio done at all. We agreed that as a last result , if this fluid does not go away we will have the amnio. The only reason being that we would want to be prepared in having the proper medical support in the delivery room. If the fluid does go away I am sure that anything else we need to know would be seen in the fetal echo cardiogram.

*I say healthy because that is what our doctor sees - and all he has seen - a growing healthy baby.

5 comments:

Missing Kasey said...

I know many are against an amnio, and I agree with you if the fluid is gone no need for it. I had one with Kasey, at first I said no, Kevin wanted it as it might give more info. After crying and attempting to eat lunch we came to the agreement that I would have it done. After 2 weeks of hell everything came back normal... I was glad that we did it though. Just though I would share, and I pray that the next us you have the fluid is gone!

Danielle said...

Kimberly, I believe with my whole heart this baby will be perfectly healthy. You will have far more than minutes, days, and years to watch this baby grow. You will watch as your child has children of their own one day and they will be holding your hand as you prepare to meet Hudson in heaven one day.

It always makes my stomach churn to think of how many babies were terminated simply because of a "possibility" of a problem. I knew carrying Wyatt to term even with a fatal diagnosis would never be a decision I would regret. I was right. I am SO THANKFUL for the time he blessed us with. And I would carry to term again if I were ever placed in that situation in the future. Make no mistake, I'm not saying this to you because I feel like this is a path you will have to walk... I simply wanted to tell you how much I admire you saying you didn't want to play God!

Praying for you and your healthy little bundle of Joy!

Peter Stone said...

I saw the prayer request on Danielle's blog, so I'm praying for your baby too.

My wife was carrying our son at the age of 42, and the hospital was going to give her a test, an amnio? to see if the baby had down syndrome. (He had already passed the non-invasive screening, but those tests are not very reliable, they said.) But when we said we would have the baby regardless of health issues, that we would never terminate, they recommended not having the test, since it could have harmed the baby.

We did not have the test, and were so relieved. Our boy is a healthy five year old now.

Kathryn @ Expectant Hearts said...

Kimberly, I think you're making a good choice! Since you've been doing research, you're probably aware that ultrasound can reveal a lot of "soft markers" for genetic disorder.. All along with Seth, the perinatologists tried to prep us for Down's.. We figured if that was the worst we had, we could deal with it at birth (he was immediately whisked to NICU anyway, due to his heart condition, followed with fetal echoes). I told the perinatologist we couldn't do the amnio because I could never forgive myself if something happened to the baby and she said "well, that's that then" and we moved on. It was a good experience (my ob had warned me they would push and she didn't!)

I'm praying for you! And will be waiting with you to hear about the fetal echo, etc. Hugs!

Holly said...

Some drs might not like you doing research but I think it is a good thing. Sometimes you don't get all the info from them. I have faith that you little baby will be just fine but I bet it is good to be reassured that 98% go away on their own. I know I would be!

It is shocking how much termination takes place, whether there is a suspected or a known defect. Termination never crossed my mind at all. The reason most people give is that they couldn't handle carrying their babies so many more months knowing they wouldn't live. How do they know they couldn't handle it?

I know the thought of an amnio doesn't sit well with me. It'd be a last result. I hope you don't even have to worry about the possibility of one.

 
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