Under the Tree - July

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How do you see or imagine your baby/ies now that you do not have them with you?

I imagine Hudson playing with all of the other children that were born into Heaven like him. Sometimes I see him being passed around from the arms of each of mine and John's family members and other friends of ours that left this world too soon. I don't know if Hudson already knows everything about his earthly parents, but I imagine our friends and family in Heaven telling him all about John and I. In some daydreams I picture him as a toddler - about 3-4 years old. There are days when I just stare at his picture and think how beautiful he is and what a cute little boy and handsome man he would have turned into.

How did the loss of your last pregnancy affect your choices/decisions about the birth of your subsequent pregnancy?

We haven't had another pregnancy other than Hudson and it's not something we're jumping into. At first it was all I could think about, but I didn't want to replace Hudson. Right now John and I are taking the first steps in seeing a fertility doctor - not for pregnancy, but to research what could have possibly happened. I don't want to lose another child and I know that when we do become pregnant again it will be a long road of nervousness and worry. We are already praying to take away any anxiety I will have, but it's going to take time. So for now we are just John, Kimberly, angel Hudson, and happy dog Hunter.