Friday, July 31, 2009

Under the Tree - July

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How do you see or imagine your baby/ies now that you do not have them with you?

I imagine Hudson playing with all of the other children that were born into Heaven like him. Sometimes I see him being passed around from the arms of each of mine and John's family members and other friends of ours that left this world too soon. I don't know if Hudson already knows everything about his earthly parents, but I imagine our friends and family in Heaven telling him all about John and I. In some daydreams I picture him as a toddler - about 3-4 years old. There are days when I just stare at his picture and think how beautiful he is and what a cute little boy and handsome man he would have turned into.

How did the loss of your last pregnancy affect your choices/decisions about the birth of your subsequent pregnancy?

We haven't had another pregnancy other than Hudson and it's not something we're jumping into. At first it was all I could think about, but I didn't want to replace Hudson. Right now John and I are taking the first steps in seeing a fertility doctor - not for pregnancy, but to research what could have possibly happened. I don't want to lose another child and I know that when we do become pregnant again it will be a long road of nervousness and worry. We are already praying to take away any anxiety I will have, but it's going to take time. So for now we are just John, Kimberly, angel Hudson, and happy dog Hunter.


Holly said...

I bet Hudson is being loved on a lot by everyone in Heaven! The joy in dancing and playing with Jesus would be such a wonderful sight to see!

I hope that you can find out what happened and that it doesn't happen again. It will def be a road with nerves and worry. I totally get that. It's so good to be praying about it and I hope that when the time comes you will have more peace than anxiety.

Laura said...

Love the way you described your son! I'm so sorry for your loss!

Getting pregnant again is so scary- but when there is a happy ending worth every crazy moment-

Wishing you the best!

Lianne said...

Hudson is an angel living a wonderful life in heaven; I'm positively sure about that.

I'm nervous about how my next pregnancy will be, as well. The best thing to do would be staying calm and hoping for the best; something extremely difficult for women like us.

I'll keep you in my prayers and keep my fingers crossed for your fertility testing.

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