Friday, July 31, 2009

Read With Us

Please click here to learn more about Read With Us and how it works. Holly is the founder of this group and leads us in a series of questions from each chapter in the book.

This book reading is for In Faithfulness, He Afflicted Me by Lynnette Kraft. (To visit Lynnette's blog click here.)

Have you ever been at a loss for words when trying to comfort another? If you've endured a loss, in what ways have people shown you they cared?

I have never known what to say when others needed comfort - I still don't. The only difference now is if I were to say something people would know that I have been there and been through the pain they are feeling. So many times people say "I can't imagine what you are going through" and it's true, unless you have been there. I do know that now I don't worry about saying the right thing because there is not a right thing to say. Just letting others know that I am thinking about them will be enough.

During the past few months there have been 100s of people that have reached out to John and I. I know I have so many wonderful friends out there and I am so blessed. There's one that I talk to everyday and she is very compassionate towards me in everything she does - recently she found out she is expecting. There are two other friends that found out they were expecting in December and they didn't tell anyone they were pregnant until after some time because of Hudson. They didn't want to gloat about their pregnancies after I lost Hudson. I have a sister-in-law that asked me the other day how I would like her to answer other people's questions about how many nephews she has - she wanted to include Hudson. John and I elected to have donations made in Hudson's honor to the March of Dimes in lieu of flowers and we are still receiving donations in his honor. Another couple of friends call me often and invite me places knowing that if I say no that they still need to keep including me and sometimes I will say yes. We had food brought, flowers, phone calls, cards, so much done for us. Word traveled fast during that event and so many people were already writing messages on our facebook walls and sending messages. If it weren't for our friends and family....I don't even want to think about it.

What fears do you have that you feel you should give to God?

Hmm...well I had two fears - losing a child and an epidural. Both have happened. I was scared of being pregnant because then I would be vulnerable to losing something I loved so deeply. When I was past 12 weeks I was excited, knowing I had passed the time when most miscarriages occur. I was also scared of the epidural because of the chance to be paralyzed; I know crazy, but I was going natural and I will next time. Now I have a fear of going through that heartbreak again and that I will never have any living children. John and I would be the best mom and dad to those lucky children - it's a fear that we will never have the chance.


Holly said...

You know, I'm the same way. I honestly don't know what to say but I hope since I have been there that I can at least offer a little comfort. Surviving a loss is never what I imagined I would do, but here I am.

I am so glad that so many reached out to you and still continue to do so. It's so vital to have that support there. And I think that's just great for your SIL to want to include Hudson. So many times our children are forgotten and not included. That makes it so hard b/c we always want their memory to live on.

I would always be like 'whew!' when I got past 12 wks for the same reason. I figured I was mostly in the clear. And again I'd have that same feeling once I reached the age of viability at 24 wks. Boy, did reality ever smack me in the face.

The fear of going through this again is there for me too. It's there for so many of us that decide to try again. I've come to realize that while my fears are very real I can't let them overcome me. They're not doing me any good and the worry will just suck the joy out of my life. I've given my future to God and I trust Him with it. I certainly can't do it on my own!! I pray that God will bless you with many children. He already knows you will make wonderful parents.

Holly said...

Ok, I have to add that your Hunter's blog is totally putting a big smile on my face. Especially, since "who let the dogs out" started playing! hahahaha I love it!!!

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