Saturday, March 7, 2009

Satan Knocking at my Door

Once again I am writing with bad news - seems as if this year has been full of bad news for John and I. Yesterday my position was "done away with" at the bank - therefore leaving me unemployed. Crazy that this isn't the worst thing that has happened this year. It is crazy that the year is only 2 months deep and so much has happened. As usual I am staying my normal upbeat and enthusiastic self. I would not know how to face something otherwise. Maybe I feel that being depressed and upset about something will not solve the puzzle that is laid before me and that it would only deepen the problem. Of course I was upset, but mainly due to insurance issues. Last Saturday was the deadline for us to sign up for John's insurance, but luckily (praise the Lord!) we are able to sign up in April once mine expires. I think I only got upset because being laid off would stop me from doing what I want most right now - which is having a baby. Without insurance that would not have been possible, but now everything is okay. I am dissappointed, but I think to myself that there are thousands of people across America that are being laid off. I am happy that I was laid off rather than others. I am very lucky to have a husband that is able to support us and a family that will be here to help us out if needed. Yes, this may put our house plans on a little hiatus, but I can deal with that. I am able to take this lay off with pride because I know that there are other people that would not have been able to support their families without their jobs - with mortgages, car payments, kids, college, etc. Everything is going to be okay and this too shall pass.
This year has been rough - never have I experienced so much sadness and grief. Everything became a little clearer today after a conversation with my mom. We were talking about how others have been inspired by my faith, my enthusiasm, and my outlook on life during the past few months. I joked that if the Lord wanted me to inspire others He could have just told me instead of all of this happening - I would have found a way. She said that its not the Lord doing this; its Satan. Of course I know that the Lord does not willingly bring affliction or cause grief to His people (Lamentations 3:33), but I had never thought about Satan trying to bring me to his side - "the dark side". As I got into my car I laughed - I literally laughed at Satan. I am not easily influenced - how is it that he thinks I would come to join him in his demonic world? Why would I chose him over God? Then I started thinking about how at rough times people become angry at God when they should really be yelling at Satan and demanding that he leave them alone.
So this is my new plan, you can use it too, but I know its going to work for me. Each day as I thank God for what He is doing in my life and all that He has given me I am going to thank Satan for pushing me closer to God. I'm going to thank him for using me as an example to others and thank him that through me I am able to encourage other believers of God and inspire others that have not given themselves to God yet. I am going to laugh at him as more people turn to God while he tries to turn me against Him. I now feel that if I changed, encouraged, or set a godly example to one person at my ex-place of employment then my job was a success and the "lay-off" is now more of a "move-off". My time there was done and its time to move on to another group of people that need me and my faith in their daily life. I feel honored that God is using me and I am encouraged that He knows how strong I am. I always knew I was strong - that John and I have a strong marriage, but I never knew we were THIS strong. He knows that I am able to fight off Satan and all his influences - really why would anyone want to trade in an artificial happiness with Satan for a few years when they have all of eternity with God to look forward to? So, as we reflect on what has happened to me these past few months know that I am ok, I am better than ok. I am seeing things in a better light and know that I have a special purpose.
I thank all of you for your prayers and thoughts and ask you to keep on praying and not only for me, but for those that I am meant to encourage and lead by example to have relationships (or better relationships) with Christ. Pray that many others will do as I have done and kick Satan to the curb laughing at him all the way.
Love, Kimberly

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