Thursday, April 25, 2013

Friendships - Making & Keeping {and a little TBT with pics!}

Linking up with the bloggers above on this week's topic of Friendships: Making & Keeping Them
{disclosure - if you are not in a picture do not get hurt!! I wanted to hurry and post and I was nursing going through pictures on FB quickly...I was also having issues getting pictures to post and it was getting the best of me!}

It is funny, but when I read the topic for this link-up I instantly thought about girls who would say that they are better friends with guys than they are with girls - that guys are easier to get along with. I kind of see that, but I kind of feel sad about that because the friendships you have with your girlfriends are so important. They change, of course, as we change, but they are longer lasting than any friendship you can have with a guy - in my opinion. I only say that because I feel that once you are married to your spouse the dynamic between your opposite gender best friend changes.

John and I have been so blessed with the friends we have made and kept in contact with through the years. Growing up I lived in the same house my entire life and knew the same people forever that I never really knew or learned how to make friends. Going to school, church, and other activities I was always just put with people and they became my friends. Some people I do not even remember meeting because I met them at such a young age. 

It is funny that this is the topic because just the other day I was thinking about friendships and how my life is in that aspect these days. There was a time when I was worried more about the number of friends I had. It was important to know everyone, be friends with everyone, and be liked by everyone. Aside from needing to have tons of friends I have always had a core group of friends that really know me. That group has changed over the years as I have changed. There are still a few who have been in my core group for ages. I remember graduating high school and having people say that you would make your true friends in college and that I would lose touch with my treasured high school friends. It felt like I was challenged to prove that person wrong. I worked so hard for years making sure I did not lose contact with people. Too bad Facebook was not around back then to aid in that!

In college I joined a sorority and hung out with one fraternity. It was easy to make friends when they were dumped right at your feet :) I am shy {if some of you can believe that} when it comes to meeting new people. I have those awkward social skills and I get really nervous. Sometimes I try to imagine what it is like meeting me and I think I would probably annoy myself - strange? Probably. Anyway - it was great having an instant way to make friends and I definitely have friends in both the sorority and through John's fraternity {the wives club and other fellow ladies that I hung out with up there} that are lifelong friends. 

After college it all became a little tricky. We all moved around and it was harder to have get togethers {I looked forward to all of those weddings!} and I missed everyone so much. There are days when I long to go back to that time in my life if only for a moment. I am now living in the area {well, close to} that I grew up in and you would think that I would have picked right back up with the friends I hung out with before. Nope, not how it worked out. I tried to reconnect with certain groups, but it just didn't happen - which is completely fine. I started working at a local bank and reconnected with a childhood friend and a couple of other ladies that I knew of but never really hung out with in high school. 

Flash forward to today and we have been here almost 6 years. Now I have kids and with everything that everyone is involved in - mainly kid stuff - it can be hard to get together. One thing that has been very important to me are my lunches with the girls. It is such a great time to just let it out and have that girl time that I need. My lunch ladies and I have a very special bond. I think we've been "lunching" for the past 4 years. I also have a couple of groups of ladies that I go on trips with and those are always just the most fun!

Another place I have been able to make friends is through our church small groups. It is nice to be able to have friends that are "couple" friends. Groups that both John and I can hang out with and enjoy. We have been in two different groups and really made great connections with the men and women in both groups. These people have been there to pray with us, laugh and cry with us, and to help us grow even more in Christ. 

Lets see - where else for friends...well, now that Heidi is getting older and getting more involved in activities I am definitely able to make a few more friends that way. I love all the "dance moms" I get to chat with each Monday. There are also a few ladies I chat with every so often at Heidi's school. Hmm...sometimes my sister lets me hang out with her friends - ha! I think I am out of ideas on friends...

In having friendships it is very important to put in the friendship as much as you would want to be given back. Not saying that you should expect the friendship to give back to you, but you know what I mean, right? It stinks sometimes when friendships seem one sided and all the other person does it take, take, and take. I remember at times I felt like I put so much into friendships with people and there was no return of the same respect. So, I stopped putting the effort and you know what changed? Nothing really, just me putting less time into something that didn't matter to another person. This is all just recently y'all - I would say within the past 5-6 years that I have been learning about friendships - true friendships. I am thankful for all of the friends I have had throughout my life and I actually consider everyone that I have met to be a friend. 


Courtney DeFeo at Lil Light O' Mine said...

thanks for linking up. i enjoyed seeing all your photos. and you are so right. seasons change and true friendships are hard to find with worth the effort.

Vicki said...

Well I do have some pretty cool friends so of course you want to hang out with them.

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