Thankfulness

Last year John and I hosted Thanksgiving and Heidi was merely I little bean growing in my belly. I had this tree (which I forgot to get a picture of because I was stressed and keeping guard of being too happy) called the "thankful tree" and I asked everyone to write down what they were thankful for and hang it on the tree. It really looked so cute. I wrote that I was thankful to be given another chance to become a parent. Shortly after Thanksgiving is when we found out about the cystic hygroma and there went my hopes of having a healthy baby - of having a live baby at all. Now, look where we are a year later. Heidi is 5 months old and growing to be such a strong and healthy little girl. Its crazy to think there was ever a thought of something going wrong with her or her not being here because now I cannot imagine her not being here. Amazing how someone could be in your life for a short little while and once they are in it you cannot remember life without them. That's exactly how Heidi is for John and I.

The word "thankful" doesn't even cover how I feel. I don't even think blessed covers it. To say I am beyond thankful and beyond blessed would be an understatement. There is something about when you have lost something or you have to work harder than others for something that makes you more appreciative than others. If it comes easy to you then you miss out on the hunger, the pain, and the everyday struggle of living each day. During your time of "trials and wants" you have to watch as others get what you are so desperately praying and begging for day in and day out. You have to put on your happy face, pull your big girl panties up, and try your best to show that you truly are happy for others.

I can say with confidence that I feel more thankful than I have ever felt before in my life, that I feel more blessed than ever, and that I only have God to thank for everything going on in my life.