Wednesday, May 6, 2009

To dance or not to dance?

Dancing is a passion for me, its something that I lost a passion for, but one that I have found again. I started dancing at an early age of 4 or 5 - first beginning with ballet. The next year my mom added tap to the mix. Oh how I loved tap classes - I still do! After a 9 year hiatus from dance (after my senior year I left for college and did not take lessons) I started taking classes again this fall. Muscle memory definitely took over and I am back to where I left off. I remember as clear as day when I lost my love for dance. It was my junior year - tap class. I was a busy girl, in the spring I had cheerleading (try-outs and new stuff), track, and dance class. I never had a free moment. Occasionally I would have a track meet when I would have dance class and I would have to miss the class. Not a big deal to me because I always caught on very fast. Apparently it was a bigger deal to others that I missed class.

Now please keep in mind I danced with the same teacher most of my life (two years when I was younger I danced at a studio closer to home) and I knew the teaching style and my teacher very well. I will admit I was a little cocky and a know it all in class - at the early age of 17 dance was the one thing I thought I knew everything about. Anyways, back to the story at hand. I remember one class, we had warmed up and started practicing the dance we would be performing at recital. Now considering this was 10 years ago or so some of the details are fuzzy, but the gist of the argument started when my teacher asked me to demonstrate a step to the class. Well, not only was I 17, but there were other students in my class my age as well as women that were 8-10 years older than I. That kind of upset me because I wanted only people my age to be in the class, but it doesn't matter. Anyways, one of the class members (an adult) starts yelling about how it's always "Kimberly this, Kimberly that" and then called me a nasty little name - one I had never heard myself be called before. I was horrified! Never had someone lashed out at me.

There is much more to the story, but the point is that's the night I decided I hated going to dance class. Each time I stepped into the studio I would replay that horrible night in my head over and over. Even crazier 10 years later I remember it as if it were yesterday. Still to this day (in my adult tap class I am in now) I cringe when I am asked to demonstrate a step in fear I will become the target of a mood swing.

The reason I am blogging about this story is because my teacher asked me if I wanted to be in the Roy Rodgers dance (a bench dance) with the teen class. This dance was also performed my senior year and once I heard the music my body knew what to do. I remember how much I did not enjoy dancing with adults when I was a teenager, maybe it was because those adults had over powering personalities, but something bothered me about it. So I feel as if I am in a pickle and that if I do perform with these girls I will be hypocritical of how I always have felt. I have a month to think about it and maybe since its a sit down dance and our faces will be covered it will be ok - besides the number really looks good with a ton of people!

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