Thursday, March 28, 2013

Throwback Thursday - Big Cousin

Before next Thursday we will have a picture of Heidi holding her little brother, so I thought it fitting to post a picture of me when I was holding a little baby. This was probably the first baby I held and it was my younger cousin Jennifer. Apparently I was a little nervous holding a crying baby or something....but check out that curly blonde hair! And seriously, there is a huge resemblance in Heidi and myself - we all have to admit that, right? Heidi loves babies and I know she is going to be so excited to hold her nameless baby brother soon!

Link up and post your TBT picture!

Monday, March 25, 2013

Heidi's Date

Friday our little Goose had her very first "big" date night. Heidi got all dressed up and her date came to pick her up at the door with a little flower for her to wear. It was the cutest thing how Heidi tried so hard not to smile as I pinned the flower on her little sweater. Heidi's date picked her up at about 6PM because they had dinner plans at 6:30 and it was to be a night of dinner, dancing, and fun! I did manage to snap a little picture of Heidi with her very handsome date.

John took Heidi to a Father/Daughter dinner that was hosted by our church. There are not many pictures from the actual event because I believe Heidi took the camera and there are a ton of random shots. John was able to capture a few photos and videos on his cell phone though! John and Heidi had such an amazing time and both came back all smiles. They even brought me a cupcake! Poor little goose was not feeling 100%, but she still had so much fun. Apparently the best part was being able to dance with her cousin Georgia.

I was sort of jealous they were going out for a fun night. Something I have to admit is that I am very selfish with Heidi. I want to be there for every single thing, big or small, that Heidi is involved in. Missing out, or even thinking about missing out, on something makes me so sad. One example is that I have had in my head that I am going to be induced at 38 weeks which falls on Easter weekend. I was so upset about potentially missing out on Heidi hunting Easter eggs. I could not get it out of my head that I would be missing such a sweet memory with her while I was in the hospital. {Sidebar - I will not be missing out on any Easter celebrations}.

In general I am going to have to learn that there are going to be things in Heidi's life that I will not be able to be there for. There are dates and adventures Heidi will take that I am going to have to sit back and wait as she tells me all about what she just experienced. I am already picturing Heidi coming home after a night of fun and snuggling in the bed with me telling me all about her night. This was probably the first time I actually felt a little left out not being able to see the joy and fun Heidi had that night. As much as I want to smother and be part of everything Heidi is doing I have to realize there are things her daddy needs to be part of that I need to be out of the picture.

It is such a blessing that at Heidi's young age she is already learning what to look for in a husband. Having her daddy come to the door, pick her up, give her a flower, to treat her so special about the date - that is amazing. Starting at this age and continuing on {because Heidi has already been talking about how she is ready for another date} with John treating her like such a little lady is going to do great things for her self-esteem. Heidi will know what to look for in a man when it comes time. The standards are already being set so high for Heidi's future husband and I know that with this being shown to her so early she will not accept anything but the best when the time comes.

John attends a men's prayer breakfast at our church once a week and the guys were able to bring their daughters with them the most recent time. Heidi and I already had plans for that day and it was kind of early for her to be up so she missed out on that, but John said the message was great. They talked about making time for their daughters and how valuable a relationship is between and father and daughter. I could go on and on, but I won't. For now I leave you with some sweet dance moves by Heidi's Uncle Hubert. Just kidding. I don't think I have the video.....

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Throwback Thursday - Easter

I am sure my brother and sister are going to be nervous about TBT from now on because I sent them a sample of what I might post as my picture for this week and the responses I got were "Of course you are going to use it because you look cute." and "Why????". Hopefully they are both on pins and needles waiting to see if I decided to use the picture I sent to them. I was 3 years old in the picture - of course I was cute :) So, I guess that would have put them at 16 and 12. Vicki and I had matching Easter dresses so of course we looked precious.

The picture below was from Easter 1984 and I am not sure why I am in the dress that is featured below, but I know we were having an egg hunt in our front yard and a couple of friends in the neighborhood were in the hunt as well. 

A few things to take note:
1 - Why is my dress so short? {there was actually a picture where my panties were showing in this same dress}
2 - Is that a Christmas wreath on the collar?
3 - Why do I have multiple baskets?
4 - Don't you think Heidi favors me a ton?

Link up below with your Throwback Thursday pictures!

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Bonded Worship

I grew up going to a traditional denominational church. You went every Sunday, sat in approximately the same pew each Sunday, sit-stand-sit-stand, sing your hymns while holding the hymnal, sign the book to be accounted for, pass the offering plate, kneel at the altar for Communion once a month, and basically the same traditions each Sunday. Everything was predictable and I was never challenged to step out of my spiritual comfort zone. I love the church I grew up in, the people that I know that still go there - I was baptized there, accepted Christ there, met people that have changed my life, and I was married there. My spiritual growth just needed something more - something with added passion for God. The amazing thing about worship is there that there are so many different ways that people can experience God. Everyone needs to find what makes them feel comfortable and find their way.

I love to sing. Songs of worship make me feel so so good. They lift my spirit and they are very relatable. We sing a lot of songs before the message each week in church and it is such a great way to open your heart, clear your mind, and get you ready to understand the message you are about to hear. I have one problem. I can't lift my arms. I drum my hands on my legs or the chair in front of me. I cannot praise and worship the way I want so badly to do. Each week it is a fight and I find myself tearing up at songs because I am fighting the urge to lift my hands to give praise to our glorious God. There are people all around lifting and giving amazing praise, but something within me struggles.

In my old church we held hymnals - there was not a way for me to lift my hands. They already had a job in holding the huge book. So for almost 25 years my hands were in bonded worship - they held the hymnals and I was rarely exposed to raising hands in worship. I never really even thought about it much and when I would attend a church where people would occasionally raise their hands in praise. I do remember seeing my parents raise their hands in singing and I remember being a little weirded out by that, but it was not a big deal - it just was not something we did in our church.

Now John and I go to a non-denominational church. There are no hymnals; nothing to hold. I still do not know what to do with my hands. I know what I want to do - I want to jump up and down in my chair lifting my face to the sky and raising my arms with praise {all of this pre- and post pregnancy of course because if I do anything like that I might have a baby drop out}. I have imagined myself doing this many times while singing in church. I want to thank our amazing Father for all He has done in my life. Still, I find myself bonded by something. A few things are certain - I do not want to draw attention to myself, I do not want to be that "crazy person" everyone is making fun of, but I do not even know if that is the reason I cannot worship the way that my body is desiring to worship. It has come to the point that my eyes are burning with tears because I physically cannot do it. I know that people are not looking at me while they are busy in their own state of worship, but there are also people like me who are aware of everything going on around. I see other people lift their hands in praise and the tears sting even more.

When I attended Chrysalis in high school I remember this one girl, Martha Rivers. Maybe it was Marsha, but this was a long time ago so I cannot fully remember. I do remember she was from the SSI area. We were singing a song and she stood in her chair and danced in that chair with arms flailing and I sat in utter awe of how she was so free to praise God. I cannot remember the song whenever I think of this memory, but I do think of the memory when I hear the song {make sense?}.

The ironic thing is I grew up a dancer and dancing is a way I have always expressed myself. Maybe its just the unchoreographed dancing I cannot bring myself to do....

I hope that one day, if you go to church with me, you will see me out there praising with eyes and arms wide open. For now I sit in my bonded worship wishing I could do more. Maybe one day I will be like Martha {or Marsha}, but until then I will praise and worship the best way that I can.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Throwback Thursday - Hot Tub

Welcome to another week of TBT {Throwback Thursday}! Today I take you back in time to Dec 1998. I was a junior in high school and it was most likely Christmas break. If I can recall properly I am pretty sure that all of the ladies in the hot tub and the owner of the leg in the air were all on student council together. I'm not sure what the plans were that night - I remember possibly making pizza. What I do recall is this happening about a dozen times. This involved a disposable camera and a lot of laughter. The goal of the mission was to get a group shot, of more than just heads, in the hot tub. Due to the fact of not having a camera with a timer at the moment someone had to press the button and try to hop in fast enough to get in the shot. How was this ever really supposed to work? No clue...This was the closest that we got to having a full group of more than just heads. As you can see the poor girls in the tub were scared to death and thought kicking their legs at the innocent victim who had to jump in would help to save them. I am pretty positive no one was injured at the girl jumping in made it in without any harm. In recent years I do not recall jumping into hot tubs, so this was my only experience with that :)

Join in TBT below and link up your blog with your TBT picture!

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Quick Baby Update

Here is a little update on our little growing baby in the belly:

- still visiting both doctors {the perinatologist and my regular OB} each once a week. Both doctors run a BPP which checks 8-10 things {depending on which office I am at}. They look for things like movement, fluids, size, practice breathing, heartbeat, NST. etc. I do not mind going to both each week at all. It has been so helpful having everyone in my corner and not having to be the one worrying and needing extra appointments. The perinatnologist is always impressed with how quickly baby boy finishes his test. Sometimes they take 30 minutes to get all the results, but we seem to always be finished in five.

- I did have one little panic attack a couple of weeks ago. I felt like there was less movement, but I went straight to my doctor after picking Heidi up from school and they immediately sent me into ultrasound, NST, and to my doctor. I was completely calm and everything was great.

- We had maternity pictures today, Heidi was running around everywhere like crazy. I am already excited to see what Molly was able to capture :) I am also super excited because I was e-mailed about another 75% off deal for a canvas that does not expire until the end of April and I will be able to get a few more large canvases from the maternity session and the newborn session. Yay! Let me know if you want the deal :)

- Our house is still a disaster and not even close to being what most people would consider "baby ready". I just tell myself that what we need is ready and there is no reason to worry about anything else that is not ready like I would want. The pack-n-play was set up today and we just have to get the bassinet part set up for easier access. We're putting this right next to my side of the bed and it has a little changer to attach on top, so it is perfect.

- I thought I was going to be in the hospital on Saturday with the cramping and aches I started having, so I took it very easy on Saturday {while trying to find our Boppy pillow} and let our little angel have free roam to destroy the house. Poor John has not been feeling well since Saturday night {probably trying to compete with my labor pains} and so the house is even more disastrous with two days of toddler destruction.

- On the to do list for this week is switch the beds in the rooms, find the Boppy, pack hospital items, and CLEAN up from Tornado Heidi. I will be sure to post the latest from the missing Boppy and what all is going into my hospital bag. I do need to find some nursing tanks...anyone have a suggestion for these? Do not say Motherhood or Target because I looked and disappointingly found none.

Hope to update more later - have a great week everyone!

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Throw Back Thursday

I have decided to start my Throw Back Thursday - on the blog :) It will give me something to talk about and also possibly embarrass a few friends! A few weeks ago we celebrated my sister's birthday and we were talking about pictures. Vicki wanted to "approve" all pictures beforehand because she did not like certain ages of her childhood. I kind of snickered because I feel the exact opposite about pictures. Sure, there are plenty of unflattering pictures out there of me - we all have them, but I could really care less if someone sees them. It also reminds me of a little video my cousin was taking at my sister's party and I walked in front of the camera doing what I thought was a little head bob {like in "walk like an Egyptian"} and apparently it was more like a belly and booty bounce. Not embarrassed at all - I was telling someone that I try hard not to do anything embarrassing so that in case it is caught on film or print I will not be embarrassed. Note to all friends that have pictures of me - this is not a challenge to find awful pictures of me and post them. Paybacks...remember that.

In honor of the 30 plus boxes of Girl Scout cookies we purchased {don't worry, they are in the freezer} I will post a picture of Girl Scout Troop 230 from Richmond Hill, GA.

I know what all but two of the girls featured in this picture are up to due to Facebook. I was probably in about 2nd grade I would guess in this picture. Cookie sales, cookie booths, camping, making our own little stoves, earning tons of badges - such great fun. My mom was a troop leader forever {she was with my sister as well} and I think I was in Girl Scouts until about 5th grade, that is when all of us pretty much stepped away from the three finger on my honor pledge.
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